


To Help #5

by Chibi_Seren



Series: To Help [6]
Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Almost Unrequited Love, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cheating, F/M, NSFW, Trigger Warning: Miscarriage, self sacrificing/depressed mc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-23
Updated: 2017-06-27
Packaged: 2018-11-18 00:49:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 34,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11280282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chibi_Seren/pseuds/Chibi_Seren
Summary: How would the RFA + Co, help out MC who was cheated on by another one of the RFA + Co members? Especially if the former person was in love with MC themselves?





	1. 5a

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys just super slowly making my way through to post my work my tumblr on to here. I apologise, i haven't had the time to truly 100% edit these fics but one I will and I will fix any and all mistakes throughout my pieces- I just ask until then you try to find my mistakes as cute and endearing instead of annoying!

_“-MC you need to pull over, you’re not in the right frame of mind right now-”_

_“-You think I don’t know that? But if I pull over now it means stopping and I can’t stop… not now… not ever, Saeyoung. If I stop- it means he’s one step closer to coming for me”_

  _“I won’t let that happen MC- but we need to make sure you’re safe!”_

_“I’m not stopping. I’m not letting this happen again. It doesn’t stop Saeyoung. **He doesn’t stop!** ”_

_“MC CALM DOWN PLEASE! I NEED YOU TO-”_

_“… I just want it to stop.”_

_A sharp intake of breath before the sickening sound of metal bending and glass shattering was the last thing Saeyoung heard before the phone line died._

* * *

 

The moment Saeyoung had turned on the camera in the hallway that first day MC literally walked into their lives, he knew he was in trouble. When she accidentally looked into the camera and his heart had sped up and suddenly the palms of his hands grew sweaty and… seriously all this from one quick look from her? She could have been a psychopath, a super clingy boy-obsessed girl or an antisocial loner- but she wasn’t. She had unfortunately turned out to be perfect. His exact type. He didn’t even know he had a type and suddenly he was proclaiming it all over the messenger? What the hell was wrong with him? Whenever he’d hear her voice he’d feel excited yet calm- like his skin was the only thing keeping him together at all. Whenever she’d send him a text just to randomly cheer him up or answer a question he posed _just right_ or just add a random _meow to her sentence_ -…he _knew_ he was in serious trouble.

He’d dream about her- which in it of itself wasn’t so weird, he watched her everyday on the camera to make sure she was safe. It was when he’d start daydreaming about her that he started to really panic; what use would it be for him to start fantasizing what their life would be like? Like dancing around like idiots on a Saturday afternoon just because they felt like it? Or pigging out on chips and soda all day long because neither of them wanted to cook and then taking turns to rub each other’s stomachs after the inevitable tummy ache sets in? Or how much he could get for selling some of his cars so he could really marry her in a space station? Those thoughts hurt no one but himself but he couldn’t stop chasing after the pain he’d fallen in love with and it really was starting to get dangerous.

Vanderwood had begun to notice his fascination with her and he really didn’t want to get MC involved in any more hazardous things than she was already exposed to because of their group, putting her life in peril was the last thing he ever wanted; but he should have known better, when it came to him everything was always in peril.

… So… it was a good thing she liked Jumin right? She’d be safer with him and didn’t he tell her that he _‘totally supports this relationship’_ and that she should absolutely go and see Jumin and make sure he’s ok and… _what do you mean you’re staying the night? WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU’RE STAYING THERE FOR THREE NIGHTS MC?_ … and then that was it, wasn’t it? It didn’t matter that every time she would come running into the chats to talk about Jumin that it felt like someone taking a branding iron against his lungs, that whenever she’d call him and gush about the older man and how much she loved him and wanted to be his wife, that he wanted nothing more than to scream into the phone for her to wake up and see that there was another person who loved her more. Who needed her more.

But-

Saeyoung never even stood a chance.

He wasn’t even a competitor in the race.

Still- he waved his white flag.

He yielded.

 

* * *

 

She seemed to have it all. The amazing, rich husband, an amazing philanthropic organisation that kept her busy and an amazing circle of close knit friends. There was nothing more that MC could want or ever ask for. 

Except for her husband to stay faithful to her.

She didn’t even know she had to ask that of him.

She sat on the couch as Jumin merely stated that during his last business trip to Taiwan, his main investor for his latest project stipulated that she would happily fund the entire endeavour if he indulged her in one night with him, no holds barred. He spoke of it so calmly and rationally that MC first thought he was playing some sick joke on her- as far as her husband had come along with his humour and understanding of his emotions, there were still times where he made some ridiculous attempts at humour which failed spectacularly. She had hoped this was such a time- she was mistaken.

Jumin continued to explain to her that now that the deal had gone through he had all the funds required to complete his project that he could finally rest easy and lessen his work load for a bit, “ _Isn’t that lovely honey?”_

_Isn’t.. that… lovely…._

_…honey…_

MC could hear a high-pitched tone playing in the back of her head, his words barely reaching her. She didn’t understand. Was he really admitting that he had cheated on her and that it was not a big deal? Could he be that thick? Could _anybody_ be that thick?! Didn’t he know that by doing this he had just destroyed all her trust in him? Did he think that by telling her in a way like it meant nothing, that it actually meant nothing? It meant _everything_.

Though instead of voicing anything she was thinking, she swallowed it down. Buried it below her guts and let it squirm and gnaw inside her. In a place so deep within her it hurt to go there. In a place so deep, she might actually be able to forget it.

Somehow along the way, although happy and frantically in love they remained after three years of marriage- she had lost her voice. The voice which tamed the Corporate Giant, Jumin Han, was quelled. MC couldn’t blame anyone but herself, after all Jumin had practically begged her to be selfish; to worry only about her needs from then on… but somehow she took that message and turned it 360 degrees and upside down on its head. She became completely selfless, essentially prostrating herself to whatever Jumin and the company needed- and Jumin as well-meaning as he was, thought that MC’s actions was her way of being selfish, that she wanted it to be this way now. So yes- whatever it took when it came to Jumin and C&R- Jumin needed to be in China for three months to successfully take over a company? _Fine_. Jumin needed to wine and dine a bunch of sleazy international businessmen and they wanted to see Mrs Han come along to endure their antics? _Absolutely_. Jumin needed to fuck a random for money like a common male prostitute?… was there no line that could not be crossed anymore?

_Ok_.

This was… ( ~~not~~ ) _Ok_.

She only had herself to blame.

Jumin observed his wife sit stiffly on the couch, her countenance becoming more and more stone-like the further the silence between them wore on. She hadn’t said a word to him, she didn’t scream or even cry, she seemed either to be perfectly at peace or in a state of shock.  He reasoned to himself that he explained the situation properly, leaving nothing unsaid- that it was just business plain and simple and that he came home to _her_ , his wife, the woman he loved. It made sense for her to be fine with what transpired between him and the other woman, there was no feeling in what he did with her, it was perfunctory, mechanical- nothing like what he shared with MC. She **_must_** have known that.

Pulling off his tie and jacket and throwing them over the arm of the couch, Jumin bent over and kissed MC’s temple. Leaning over further he trailed his kisses down her cheek, her jaw and over her pulse point. Nevertheless, she remained as a perfect statue, frozen in time. Swiping his thumb over the rise of her cheekbone, along the bridge of her nose and over the swells of her lips until his fingers could grasp her chin between his fingers- he turned her head carefully to face his, meeting her lips with his own. It wasn’t until about 10 seconds into kissing MC did he realise that she wasn’t reciprocating, just sitting there with her eyes shut tight, her hands trembling in her lap.  Running his right palm down the side of her face to rest against the side of her neck, he let his thumb draw practised circles against the sensitive skin there. Maybe if he reiterated how much he loved her and how much he more he loved what they did together she would feel better? Gliding his hand underneath the collar of her shirt to feel the smooth skin it covered; his fingertips grazing lovingly over her chest- actions that would normally cause his wife to blush and goose bumps to litter across her skin- but no matter how he tried, she still remained unmoved. A small amount of panic filtered through Jumin- she couldn’t be too upset at this, could she? If she was, why didn’t she say something? Anything? Moving himself so he was kneeling upright between her legs, he entwined their fingers together and maintained what he assumed was eye contact.

_She was looking right through him._

“MC my love,” he professed as he placed her hands to rest on his shoulders as his own lightly flitted over her body. “Yours is the only body that I crave. Ours is the only bed I _want_ to be in. That woman meant nothing to me, there is nothing to fear. I am **not** my father.” He leant in and began to resume his original work against the column of her neck, his fingers dragging against the sensitive skin on the back of her arms. “Please MC, don’t dwell on this anymore. It means nothing to me, while you, are my whole world- let me show you, let me show you just how much I want and love you,” he declared.

MC could feel the bile in her stomach start to swirl around dangerously. Within ten minutes of telling her he’d cheated on her he wanted to have sex with her? Was he _serious_? Was he that insensitive now to her feelings to honestly believe that this was ok? Pulling her closer to him, one arm around her waist and the other holding on her neck to keep it still as he continued to prove his absolute ardour for her. She wanted to cry. She wanted to be sick. She wanted to run.

Jumin pulled back at the lack of response he was receiving from her and sat back on his haunches as he looked up at her with worry etching over his features. MC felt her apathy begin to weaken at the expression on his face, she loved him so much, she would have done anything to make him happy… and… and if _this_ is what made him happy?

Timidly nodding her head, she offered the side of her neck that he had been feasting on back towards him. A devious grin sprawled across his face at what he thought was her submission to him, to whatever pleasure he would bring her. She just wanted to see her husband keep smiling, no matter what it may cost her in the end.

Picking her up with a slight grunt he laid her down carefully along their bed- undressing her like she was the most precious present he had ever received. Peeling back the layers slowly, kissing any skin he slowly exposed, Jumin pressed himself against his wife- and she tried her best not to push him off. She loved him, he was making her feel good- _for the love of god woman get over it! He’s with you right now, not **her** , he only wants you. _Relaxing into the moment she bid herself to clear her head, to stop thinking and to just feel.

To feel every swipe of his tongue against her- _disgusting, exulted_

To feel his hands, work her over- _demanding, giving_

To feel his every thrust inside of her- _excruciating, delicious_

_She felt everything. It was too much. It was too much._

When she screamed out in the end she didn’t know if she was screaming in agony or desire… ~~weren’t they the same thing to her now?~~

Lying in bed beside him as he sleepily drew lazy patterns on the skin of her hip, she felt something deep within her twinge. Silently and swiftly she sat up and wrapped her silk night gown around her. Walking barefoot down the hall to the guest bathroom she hurried into the toilet and locked the door behind her, her entire body quivering. Slowly making her way down to sit on the floor she braced both her arms around the seat and proceeded to empty the contents of her stomach. Retching as silently as she could so she didn’t worry Jumin she could feel tears streaming down her face- _when had she started crying? Was she crying all this time?_

Huddled between the toilet and the wall, MC curled upon herself, one arm hugging around her knees the other she used to cover her mouth as her haggard sobs and cries began to grow stronger and louder. Not able to sit up against the weight that seemed to push her down; MC collapsed, slapping against the floor in a futile attempt to release her emotions. The tiles felt like ice through her robe and on her skin but she didn’t care, maybe if she stayed there long enough she’d get so cold and become numb- she wouldn’t mind being numb.

Hearing Jumin’s voice call out to her MC quickly covered her mouth with both hands, afraid she’d be discovered in such a pathetic position. Slowly sitting up and running a tear soaked palm through her hair she waited to see if Jumin would keep searching for her.

“MC? Where are you?” he shouted out, his voice wavering with what she supposed was concern? “MC?”

She heard the tell-tale beeps of their phone and not even two rings went by before Jumin was speaking again. “Yes Guardsman Choi, did my wife leave the premises?… she didn’t? Have you seen any suspicious people lurking about?… you haven’t? Ok maybe she’s just stepped out for a brief walk through the building, can you send a few of your team to search the halls-”

“I’m here Jumin!” she yelled out from her hiding spot, “I’m just in the bathroom!”

A beep sounded indicating Jumin hanging up on his security guard, followed by a quick succession of steps to her direction. “MC? Are you in there?”

Breathing through her mouth to swallow as much air as she could to sound calm she paused a second before answering him, “Yes honey I’m in here!”

“Why are you using the guest bathroom? The ensuite-”

“I thought you may want a shower so I came here.”

“But you’ve been gone for over half an hour- are you unwell? Did you need me to call the doctor? Oh, Lord MC- did I hurt you before?”

_Yes, Jumin, you hurt me before._

Before Jumin could finish punching in his doctor’s numbers MC picked herself off the ground and opened the door. Jumin looked up from the phone and a flash of concern shimmered across his face at the sight of her. Pale sweat stained skin, eyes bloodshot and glassy and the slight tremor in her breathing- “MC… have you been crying?” he asked his voice low and his mouth turned into a frown. MC shook her head fiercely and waved her palms about in a criss-cross fashion to show she was fine but the raised eyebrow and his discerning eyes confirmed he was not convinced- so she stretched the truth.

“No Jumin I haven’t been crying but I’m afraid I am not well. I threw up before and the bile went up through my nose and it was so painful my eyes started to water really badly.”

“Ah” he replied nodding, accepting her response as truth. “Then perhaps we really should call Dr Park over to give you a check-up-” shaking her head firmly and placing her hands over his chest she whispered that she was fine and that all she needed was sleep after she washed up, “Do you need help darling?” he asked as he tucked a hair behind her ear.

“No thank you Jumin; please go to sleep I’ll be in shortly- you’ve had a long day… you really should go rest” she coaxed him as her hands gently pushed him out the door. Jumin still not 100% swayed lurked around for a moment longer until she broke out her brightest smile and a laugh and joked that all he wanted was to see her naked again. Not denying her statement he merely leant in and kissed her on the forehead and instructed her to call out if she needed anything, he was a light sleeper after all. Nodding and smiling demurely as she closed the door on her husband she waited until she clicked the lock before her smile began to fade and crack.

Turning on the water in the shower to as hot as she could bear, MC stepped in still dressed and sat down under the scalding water.  Their sins would not wash off.

 

* * *

 

_“… I don’t even know w-what I’m doing a-anymore,” she stammered as she looked away from the phone screen, from Saeyoung’s attentive eyes. MC looked like a wreck, Jumin had gone off to another business trip and she was left behind yet again. Her normally luminous hair was dull and frizzy, her skin usually rosy and clear was now pale and blotchy. Her cheeks had sunken in a little and the dark purple shade of her eye bags were obvious signs of her exhaustion._

_“Don’t say that, you guys are just going through something difficult right now,” Saeyoung ventured trying to ease her pain in whatever way he could. If he could have taken it for her he would have, if he could have prevented it at all, he would have. Alas, another thing Saeyoung could hate himself later for._

_“I truly wish that were the case here-” MC began to argue but was quickly intercepted by her friend, “-Are you sure it’s not?”_

_“I…am” MC stammered as rivers of tears fell from her eyes even as she pressed the heels of her palms into them roughly to stop to flow._

_“… Don’t do anything rash MC,” he blurted out without thinking as he watched MC’s face distort from sorrow to stoicism to nothing. His best friend had almost completely turned away from his sight with her hair curtaining her face from his view but he still caught that expression- it was an expression that he hid so well under his 707 mask, the look of a person already dead inside._

_“…”_

_“MC!” he bellowed into the mic so fiercely that the speakers on her computer had crackled under the pressure._

_“…”_

_Saeyoung could feel the acid in his stomach begin to boil at MC’s lack of response or even care at what he was saying. The more he looked at her the more she resembled a marionette, lost without someone to pull at her strings and unable to stand up on her own. How had they all let her get this way? How could they all have failed her so terribly after all she’d done for them? “If you don’t promise me that you won’t do anything stupid I swear to God I’m coming over right now and watching over you like a mother hen!”_

_Eventually MC lifted her head and looked back into the camera, her large eyes morose and fatalistic,_

_“I…  promise Saeyoung” she uttered her eyes flicking down ever so minutely that Saeyoung almost missed it. His insides were shaking in fear, FIGHT MC! **FIGHT**!_

_“What do you promise?”_

_“For God’s sake Saeyoung I’m not some stupid kid that you need to make repeat your instructions!” she bristled at his insistence and waved him off in irritation._  
  
“I never thought you were- I just want to make sure you know what you’re really promising here?” he pressed on earnestly, his clasped hands resting against his lips in a silent prayer for her to listen to him, to **keep** listening to him. Saeyoung’s focus travelled all over the screen trying to take in every movement and sound from her, any sign that she was finally going to lose it, but her mask was firmly in place.

_“Yes, of course I do Saeyoung. Thanks for listening, I appreciate it, I’ll call you soon” she stated as more of a dismissal than a farewell. Saeyoung opened his mouth about to say something but was cut off with only a dark screen to speak to. MC’s dashing between moods and rising insecurities had caused her to call him incessantly over the last week, babbling about nonsensical things and bouts of awkward silence between them, never once telling him why she was doing it. Picking up his phone he called the one person he had hoped would break whatever funk MC was in._

_“Saeyoung- how can I help you?” the smooth baritone of his friend’s voice flooded through the earpiece._

_“Jumin, I don’t mean to worry you while you’re on your trip but MC needs help-” he tried to explain before being cut off by a very alarmed Jumin._

_“What about MC? Is she ok? Has she been hurt or-”_

_“No, no- she seems physically fine,” Saeyoung pledged to the panicked male on the other line, “-but emotionally Jumin she’s a wreck and I don’t know what’s wrong with her but you need to talk to her!” A moment later Jumin exhaled the breath he had been unconsciously holding in at his friend’s impassioned pleas._

_“Emotionally? Emotionally how?” he asked trying to get the bigger picture. Saeyoung went into great lengths to describe the baffling situations he had been placed in, the tears, the bouts of anger and listlessness which only resulted in Jumin’s muffled chuckles- the last response he expected from the man who called MC his wife._

_Saeyoung’s hackles instantly flared up as he bore witness to this man’s complete insensitivity to his wife’s breakdown, “Are you being serious right now Jumin? I just tell you your wife might have some serious psychological problems and you fucking laugh? That’s cold even from you- but that’s fine, if you don’t want to help I’ll take care of it myself-” he sneered, his mouth baring teeth that the older man couldn’t see. More pronounced laughter rang through the phone and Saeyoung had to start praying to have the strength to not hurl the device out the window. The red head had to bite on his bottom lip hard enough to draw blood to control his temper, it wasn’t about him and his issues, it was about MC._

_“Saeyoung, this is completely normal,” Jumin stated collecting himself enough to talk without his laughter interrupting him, “She’s pregnant after all.”_

_Pregnant. MC was pregnant. Mood swings. Prone to tears. Some of those added up to how she was acting… maybe that was it… Pregnant?_

_The last piece of his heart that held onto the hope of ever having her, in any life, fell away to somewhere he didn’t care to follow. She was lost to him forever._

* * *

She had been sick every day since his return home- they’d lie in bed and he’d brush his hand against hers or would bring her deeper into his arms and she would push him away and rush to the nearest sink or toilet. She would be fine throughout the entire day but as soon as they’d retire to bed and he’d try to be affectionate or intimate or simply just be with her, the rush of nausea would hit her and she’d escape to wallow in whatever pathetic hell she’d landed in.

Jumin was growing more and more concerned and no longer believed her when she said she probably had the flu or some bad food poisoning- he’d already fired two different chefs and even watched the third chef work and his practises were impeccable. There would have been no way MC could have gotten food poisoning from this man. Ignoring his wife’s protests Jumin called his doctor to visit them as soon as possible, sending for them to be picked up by his personal car.

MC was too tired to move from the bathroom by the time the doctor had arrived and too irrational to be willing to move so both the doctor and Jumin stayed with his beleaguered wife on the toilet floor as the doctor proceeded with the examination. As a final precaution the physician pulled out a couple of pregnancy tests to rule out every possible explanation of Mrs Han’s illness.

MC looked at the stick horrified. Two blue lines. Two blue lines. That was impossible. That there was a baby born from _that_ night three weeks ago. That _their_ baby was born from an act like that… MC rushed forward to retch into the sink again only to dry heave. She wanted this more than anything, all her life she had wanted to be a mother and now she was about to be one and all she felt was an emptiness in her chest. Their child was meant to be born out of love, not of guilt and self-loathing.

Cleaning herself up she picked up the discarded test and handed it to the doctor who congratulated the couple on the happy news and proceeded to inform them of all the things to expect and to come and contact her in the morning to schedule in her ob-gyn appointments. Jumin continued to stare at the ground, frozen with astonishment until MC tried to pass him upon her exit. Grabbing her wrist, he pulled her down carefully until she awkwardly half sat on his lap, half on the ground with both his arms clinging on to her like she was a life preserver. He kissed her all over her face and neck with such zeal that MC had no choice but to accept. He was exuberant. He was sublime. He was going to be a father.

Jumin Han, the proudest man MC had ever met (with the exception of his father), was holding on to her, sobbing like a child- thanking her for the greatest gift anyone could ever give him, a family of his own.

For the first time in… god knows when, MC could feel the stirrings of hope flicker within her heart, Jumin’s reaction finally eliciting a part of her that lay dormant for years. Lifting her tired arms to wrap around his shaking body, running calming fingers through his hair - she fussed over him like she would a child.

“We are going to be a family right Jumin? Me, you and this little baby?” she asked only to be replied with a vehement nod of affirmation from his ebony covered head. “We are going to be each other’s number one priority, right Jumin?” she questioned, making sure he caught the implication of her undertones, _Don’t cheat on me again Jumin, there is more at stake than my heart this time around._ Looking up to place feather light kisses along her face, neck and then lifting her up so he could kiss the crest of her stomach he grinned gratefully to his wife,

“You and this baby will always come first, I promise you MC- and to you Mini MC” he vowed as he dreamily spoke to her still flat-stomach.

“It could be a Mini Jumin,” she offered as he lightly stroked her stomach with such a look of adoration that MC could feel the shell of her heart start to heat up on its own volition.  

“Maybe both!” he added excitedly making MC giggle for the first time in months. Bending over to give Jumin a kiss, MC vowed to herself that nothing would get in the way of them taking care of their family together, that their sons and daughters would grow up in a house knowing they were loved and wanted, never to feel like a meal ticket or a step to use to get power.

Holding onto Jumin tighter, she allowed him to carry her to their bed and hold her throughout the night. She didn’t feel sick at his touch or at the feel of his body against hers, finally they were going to be ok. For the first time in a long-time MC allowed herself to feel happiness; for the first time since had she lost who she was as a person, since she had lost her voice, she could hear it again- singing back to her in the second heartbeat that grew inside of her.

 

* * *

 

_MC took a step back and squinted her eyes at the sight before her, swatches and swatches of varying hues of blues stuck on the wall- they all looked the same! Jumin had left her 12 of his favourite colours and left the final decision to her. Six months had passed by in the blink of an eye and their nursery was almost complete except they couldn’t choose a colour for the walls- MC was beginning to think of just piling all the swatches together to make a mismatched wallpaper as she was just so sick of choosing. Eventually settling on picking three of the best blues in her selection she made her way, albeit it slowly, to their bedroom where Jumin was getting ready for another important business meeting, after just coming home from a two-week trip. If she wasn’t so busy tying up the last ends of the upcoming party and finalizing their baby’s room she’d be tearing into him for not spending more time with her- because the last few months were… really good. The first couple of weeks after the discovery that they were expecting were still awkward and stilted- Jumin treating her like she was cracked glass one breath away from shattering and her still reeling from the pain of his unfaithfulness, MC still leaning heavily on Saeyoung’s calls to get through the day._

_However, at their first proper ultrasound appointment when they saw the undecipherable blob that would become their child and heard that tiny heartbeat- they held hands and cried together again just like that moment on their bathroom floor. They had come back to a place reminiscent of when they were first married, both happy and in love and in a state of bliss, entirely of their making._

_Jumin would try to limit the time he was away from her and she would make every effort to be the woman he fell in love with, one with opinions, fire and soul. It was an uphill struggle at times as the man had gotten used to the timid creature that she had forced upon herself and sometimes she slipped back into her subservient role but- they were both trying._

_For the most part._

_Walking through the door she stopped short and watched as her husband finished pulling up his tie and setting it against his neck just so, the man was a living embodiment of a dream in a suit and she liked to store memories of him in candid moments such as these. Quietly trekking in unnoticed she came up behind him and wrapped her arms around his so he was cocooned within her grasp, a small chuckle escaping his lips._

_“You’re getting so big Mini MC that your mother can no longer clasp her hands around me! Your father is getting so lonely,” he teased earning a soft slap against his chest from his laughing wife. “But I guess it won’t be for too long now, right Mini MC? When you come out and join us your mother will hold you and I will hold onto the both of you and then we’ll always be together,” he extolled as he spun around to enfold his wife in his arms before giving her a quick peck on the crown of her head. “Alas though my dears, Daddy needs to go to work.”_

_MC whined and pouted much to Jumin’s amusement- the more pregnant she got the more animated she became, something he didn’t even know he had missed. It was definitely more of an incentive to keep her in such a state in the future, even if it meant having to renovate more floors of the building to accommodate a growing family._

_“Do you have to go today? I could put off that meeting with those snooty women and-” Jumin cut her off by kissing her softly on her lips._

_“I’m sorry MC but this is really a crucial meeting, after last week in Taiwan we need to finalize everything this week ready for next month’s take over,” he elaborated as he went to pick up his briefcase on the chair beside their doorway._

_Taiwan? Didn’t he tell her the meeting last week was in Japan?  Surely he meant Japan. Burying the intense feeling of dread that was beginning to carve its way up her body, she forced a smile on her face and searched for something to do with her hands now that she had crushed the colour samples in her fist. Putting the destroyed cardboard in her pocket she moved over to his suitcase that was still lying open ready for the maid to unpack. Bending over she unbuckled the garment strap on the top and picked up a stack of neatly folded clothes that needed to be laundered only to be barked at by Jumin._

_“Don’t do that! In your condition, you shouldn’t be doing anything strenuous!” he yelled dropping his briefcase trying to take the clothes from her hands. She pulled away faster than her body looked capable of and flashed her husband a disbelieving look._

_“I put that crib together last week without your help and suddenly lifting up some dirty shirts is too much for me Jumin?” she scoffed, really he had some weird ideas about what she was able to do. The top of Jumin’s cheeks flushed with colour as he realised how stupid he must have sounded but still tried his best to take the pile of clothes from MC, getting ever more flustered when she kept evading him._

_“MC I demand that you give me those clothes right now,” he said his mouth turned down into a deep frown with is arms outstretched ready to take the clothes. MC mirrored his expression and held the clothes closer to her chest defensively, she couldn’t understand him sometimes, honestly freaking out over the smallest… little…_

_MC brought the clothes closer to her nose- the smell of salt from Jumin’s sweat, the cologne she had purchased for him for his birthday and… the smell of another woman’s perfume. Her nose still in the depths of the expensive fabric her eyes slowly levelled to meet his in an accusatory glare and his left hers in an admission of guilt. Pulling out the most offensive smelling shirt and letting the other garments fall about her, she pulled the shirt open to see tears running throughout the seams and lipstick marks marring the collar and trailing down his abdomen._

_“W-why?” she started, her hands shaking as she still held on to the mutilated clothing with a menacing grip. “Why would you?-”_

_Jumin sighed as he ran a hand through his hair and fixed his tie, his face strained and exasperated at the same time- as if he had to take the time to explain to his simple wife why he decided to do this all over again.  “MC, as you must have deduced I lied to you about going to Japan, in truth I was meeting that woman in Taiwan as she proposed to fund C &R and make it into an internationally branded firm. We may be big in Asia but to branch out and lead in our industry throughout the world is something we cannot choose to overlook.”_

_That queasy, uneasy feeling was forming in the pit of her stomach again and suddenly the room felt like it was spinning._

_Close your eyes MC, why did you have to look?_

_Close your eyes._

_Licking her lips to centre herself as she finally released his shirt and stumbled over to his side barely able to lift her shuffling feet. When they were shoulder to shoulder, so close she was able to feel the heat radiating off of him but still far enough to not touch, she stopped and let out a raspy choke of a breath, cutting through her husband sharper than any curse could have._

_“Wh-why didn’t you just get rid of the shirt?” she asked softly, looking forward into their hallway and never once at him._

_“Pardon me?” he asked, insuring he heard what she said correctly. Turning his upper body to face her, he noticed how small she was compared to him, her protruding stomach another harsh reminder of what he did and **why** he did it. _

_“The shirt,” she repeated extending her hand behind her for his gaze to follow towards his disregarded clothes. “-Why didn’t you get rid of it? Did… did you want me to find out? Did- did you want to hurt me Jumin?” she asked her face crumpling even further into distress that Jumin had to look away._

_“Of course not MC. I had never intended for you to know, this was just another business deal and this woman would not accept terms deemed normal or appropriate in our society- however for the company and our staff, for you-”_

_“For me?” she hissed, provoking him. “FOR ME? How was any of this for me?” she challenged, urging him to try to explain his reasoning behind this.  Jumin whirled around and stood before her, with fingers pointing in her face, fury carved within every facet of his features._

_“YES I DID THIS FOR YOU! FOR OUR CHILD! So that you can continue living in the affluence to which you have become accustomed to! So that our child would have every advantage laid at their feet! If he wanted to move to Spain, we could move our family there and be with him as we’d have an office there. If he wanted to live in Australia we could do the same there or **anywhere** else he chose. He would literally have the world in the palm of his hand” he exaggerated by opening his hand in front of her, trembling from the effort it took to rein himself in. “I did this for our family MC whether you believe me or not.”_

_“… When did I ever ask you to do any of this for me? What made you think this is what I wanted? Didn’t you marry me because you knew I didn’t care about any of this? That we could have lived in a one bedroom apartment living off two minute noodles and I’d be perfectly happy so long as I was with you?!” she wept, her hands clasping around his. Jumin shook her off violently as he scornfully looked over her._

_“The moment we found out you were pregnant, you told me that you and this child had to be my number one priority- made me promise and that I did. You and this baby are the only reason for me doing any of this,” he spat out whilst trying to tame his hair and thus possibly tame his anger. “I heard you loud and clear, whatever I needed to insure the future of this family, I would do without hesitation, with your blessing.”_

_MC couldn’t believe what she was hearing, that’s what he heard when she asked him to put their family as his top priority? That’s what he saw when he looked at her? That’s what he thought she believed was important? This was all her fault?_

_**Wasn’t it always?** _

_MC nodded as she began to walk away unfurling the damaged colour samples from her pocket, watched on as the colours swam together in the blur of her tears. She felt Jumin come up behind her and she paused, waiting, just waiting for the next thing to bring her to her knees. He curled one hand around the side of her face and pulled her in for long, chaste kiss on the lips and another softer graze on her cheek, his forehead resting against her temple._

_“I understand this is not something you wanted to happen, ideally, I would never have entered in such a foul arrangement but whenever I think of you and our baby all I want is the best for you.”_

_“We already had the best Jumin…” she whispered, her breath catching in her throat as she leaned into his touch. “We had you…”_

_Jumin shook his head against hers but continued to press firm kisses against her, his hand trailing down her arm to take the now beyond crumpled samples. “You will have more than me MC, you will have the world and our little one will know a life better than any of us could ever imagine. That is my promise to you,” he picked up his briefcase and fiddled with his cufflinks one more time before heading towards the door. “Oh MC- how about we forget about repainting- let’s leave the walls white, a fresh start for the boy right?” he offered as he sent a shaky half-grin her way. MC splashed on another smile and nodded as brightly as she could, giving him two thumbs up._

_Turning to leave MC took a step forward and called her husband’s name causing him to halt mid step, turning his neck to face her his eyebrows shot up to show her she held his attention, if only for the next minute._

_“…. The shirt Jumin- you never answered me”_

_“Is this necessary-”_

_“Please.”_

_Jumin looked down at the floor with the most defeated look she had ever seen on his face before he spoke, “…It’s our contract MC. Every time she sees me she wants to see me wearing that shirt to show that in private even men like me can be owned.”_  
  
“Every time… she sees you…”

_“Yes.”_

_“A contract…?” she parroted hollowly._

_“Yes. Now that you understand MC I really need to head off to this meeting- I’ll be back home tonight, I’ll see you then?” he confirmed not even bothering to listen to her response as he closed the door behind himself, leaving the woman paralysed in her own home, “Bye MC!”_

_MC looked around at the walls that was once her home and blinked._

_“Goodbye Jumin.”_

* * *

 

A loud ring pieced his eardrums as he was propelled from sleep to wakefulness.

Saeyoung sat up in his bed as he tried to acclimatise himself and get his bearings right- ok so he was at home- he was asleep- who the hell was ringing him at… oh… 2pm in the afternoon. Patting mindlessly at the messed-up bedsheets until he found his phone Saeyoung put on his glasses and willed his sleepy eyeballs to focus. The flashing screen said- _MC?_ \- clicking on the speaker icon Saeyoung dropped his phone and began to stretch and yawn. He loved this woman without a question of a doubt but if he had to go through another session of “ _WHICH BLUE IS BETTER SAEYOUNG_?!?” he would probably kill himself by drinking whichever blue paint he chose for the baby’s room… and even then Jumin would probably veto it and go for another shade.

“Morning MC!” he yawned stretching his arms as far above his head as he could. He could hear the phone being jostled around and the distinct sound of rushed footsteps and fabric ruffling about. “Hello? MC? Did your baby belly pocket dial me again? We really must work on your baby’s manners you know- I was asleep-”

“Saeyoung, can you make it so Jumin can’t track me?” she panted into the phone causing the boy to pause and make sure he still wasn’t dreaming.

“Uh-” he stuttered unintelligibly as he scratched his stubbled chin trying to figure out what was going on.

“Can you, or can you not, block any access Jumin has to tracking the GPS in my phone?” MC asked again more insistent this time, her laboured breath making her request sound even harsher than it was supposed to.

“Of course I can MC but my point is why would you-”

“Good. Please do that ASAP and let me know once you do so I can go.”

“Goooo…. go where? I don’t understand”

“Saeyoung, Jumin is cheating on me and he thinks it’s the right thing to do.”

Any rational thought that may have existed in Saeyoung’s mind at that time flew out of him at the words that MC spoke. Jumin? _Jumin Han?_ The man who was an ice block to anyone else but his wife- was cheating on her? Her?! MC?!

His eyes began to shift focus like he was about to get a migraine, his heart beating erratically like he had just run a race, the inside of his mouth dry and his lungs hard of air- no. This was a joke. He would never.

“Saeyoung please!” she screamed at him, pleading her case over the phone, “I need to get out of here- I can’t stay. I can’t do this again.” His ears picked up on the “again” and he had to squeeze his eyes shuts and ball his fists together to stop him from cursing loudly.

“MC- is this not the first time he’s done something like this?” he questioned trying to sound as calm as possible, trying to convince himself that taking all the guns in the house to the C&R building to assassinate its Director was not a good idea, even if he got shot down in the process he could take Jumin down with him. Her silence was the only answer he needed. “Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!” he screamed kicking out at the air around him, throwing his pillows and comforter, punching his mattress- anything that he could get his hands on. “God damn it MC why didn’t you tell me? I thought you guys were just having problems like he was working too much or something- why didn’t you tell me he did this to you?!” he demanded lashing out at her, the easiest target for his frustration. He would undoubtedly blame himself later for being so blind to all the signs of her troubled marriage.

“I don’t know. I didn’t want anyone to know- I didn’t… I didn’t want it to look bad on Jumin or the company. I thought,” she paused a dry croak passing through her throat as she tried to control her burgeoning emotions, “I thought that maybe if I just let him be happy we could _both_ be happy. That if the business was to profit he’d be able to relax more and we’d get the time to find us and somehow… somehow I forgot that there was an us… it was only him. It was all for Jumin. It didn’t matter about me anymore, I didn’t matter… but now Saeyoung there’s someone more important than Jumin or me or any god damn company. My son Saeyoung- I need to save my son from this life.” Saeyoung swallowed a hard, dry lump that had formed at the base of this throat at MC’s impassioned pleas and waited for her to continue.

“You know that I came from a broken home with my parents arguing over every little thing and I had to see my mother crying at the kitchen table at night after she tucked me in while she waited for my drunk father to come home. He’d hang around after work and try to score with the younger women in his office or pick up randoms at a bar- it didn’t matter who it was, all it mattered was that it _wasn’t_ my mother. Jumin’s father is a good man but has a penchant for bad women, he’s a womaniser and a cheater and will likely support his son in whatever course of action he takes, even if it’s to leave me behind and take my own child from me.

“Jumin… Jumin thinks that by striking up deals that will elevate the company that that will secure our future and that of our child’s… he’s so focused on the end that he’s not worried about the means that he’s taking. I can’t stay here anymore and risk my child believing that this is ok, that being treated like this will be tolerated. I need to get away Saeyoung, please, I need your help.”

_She had only need to ask._

“Take only your necessities MC, things that would fit in a large handbag so no one would question where you’re going, give me an hour and then head over here and we’ll figure it out from there.”

Saeyoung vaulted off his bed to his workstation and began to start deactivating any possible links to MC’s phone that Jumin had or could procure, all the while looking for countries he could book her a flight and accommodation to that would be very difficult for Jumin to get to and find her. If running away from this life and everything and everyone (even him) in it was the last thing he could help her with, then he would do it with a smile of his face and tears in his eyes.

 

* * *

 

_MC walked out of the front door to be greeted by two senior guards in Jumin’s employment, giving her a curt nod they let her pass without too much issue. However, when she tried to get into her own, old car one of Jumin’s newest Drivers had started to take issue with her plans._

_“Madam please, we can take you anywhere you want, you needn’t drive and in such an old car as well. Please it is Mr. Han’s wishes that we drive you to insure your safety,” he recited perfectly while maintaining a much deeper bow than was required for her station. Sneering down at him and shaking her head to act the part of the rich spoilt wife MC rolled her eyes at him and tapped her foot impatiently._

_“Who are you boy?”_

_“Um- Jun Hoo… madam” he replied gracing her with another deep bow._

_“Hmmm, Jun Hoo- I am MC Han, Mr Han’s wife. If **I** want to take this car out for a drive on my own, **I** will do so. If you or anyone else tries to stop me I will make a formal complaint against you to my husband and you will get fired so my dear- you’re damned if you do and you’re damned if you don’t. Although, if you let me go I’ll tell my husband that you begged for me to stay and even tried to run for help to detain me but I got away- you’ll be seen in the best light as possible. Just Let. Me. Go.” She stressed through her gritted teeth. MC could see the cogs spinning in the boy’s mind, “Let me leave and in five minutes run out screaming that you need help finding me and then come out and find me. I just need some time on my own ok?” she pleaded her eyes big and wide to look as sad and innocent as she could. It worked as Jun Hoo nodded slowly and hesitantly turned his back and slowly made his way out of the garage. _

_Jumping into the car she started it up with a low rumble and quickly made her escape to Saeyoung’s house. Her phone started ringing through the Bluetooth speaker and after insuring it wasn’t any of Jumin’s numbers she picked up._

_“Hello?” she asked furtively hoping against hope it wasn’t someone already on her tail. She knew once that boy had told the guards she was missing that they’d let Jumin know and that he’d begin his search and then there would be no stopping him. The growing sadness, fear and desperation were doing a number on her already hormonally charged emotions as she felt the first few tears fall. Swiping at them madly MC tried to force herself to keep as calm as possible._

_“MC!? What are you doing? MC please slow down, Jumin hasn’t even been told you’ve left and is still at the C &R building, it’s been barely five minutes since your departure-” Saeyoung said barely spacing his words in his adrenaline filled state. He was watching her through the satellites since the moment she had answered his phone and he could see her zig zagging dangerously through the traffic. _

_“Once he gets home Saeyoung he’ll know I’ve left him,” she sobbed going ever faster to reach her destination as quickly as possible._

_“Oh? How is that? You said you’d tell anyone that you just wanted to be alone for a little while”_

_“I did do that… but I also wrote J-Jumin a note to say goodbye and tell him that I’ll con-contact him once my I’ve gotten myself t-together and that he would always, al-always have a place in his son’s life- just… not in mine,” she wept as she explained, she still continuing to dart through the traffic._

_“-MC you need to pull over, you’re not in the right frame of mind right now-”_

_“-You think I don’t know that? But if I pull over now it means stopping and I can’t stop… not now… not ever, Saeyoung. If I stop- it means he’s one step closer to coming for me”_

_“I won’t let that happen MC- but we need to make sure you’re safe!”_

_“I’m not stopping. I’m not letting this happen again. It doesn’t stop Saeyoung. **He doesn’t stop!** ”_

_“MC CALM DOWN PLEASE! I NEED YOU TO-”_

_“… I just want it to stop.”_

_A sharp intake of breath before the sickening sound of metal bending and glass shattering was the last thing Saeyoung heard before the phone line died._

_He was sure he was watching the wrong channel on his screen. It had to be. It was like a movie scene where everything was going in slow motion- MC had the right of way but a truck had read the lights wrong and decided to turn straight into her… cutting into the car like butter, crushing it under its weight like it was nothing but tissue paper. He had heard the crash for a second before the phone was destroyed but all that replayed in his ears was MC’s last breath, one of fear, over and over again._

_The metal and glass had exploded all over the road, the debris falling and littering the ground like morbid snowflakes…_

_Saeyoung snapped himself out of it, he could feel himself breaking down and wanting nothing more than to crawl back to bed and pretend this was all some terrible nightmare but MC was out there, alone- hurt and dying- to get to him- to get to freedom… he couldn’t let her die… not alone. Tearing his keys off the hook he ran to his fastest car and prayed to God, even if he decided to take his life right after, let him get there in time. Let him say goodbye to one person he loved at least once- don’t let her pass thinking she was alone._

* * *

Jaehee burst through the door during Jumin’s meeting and didn’t bother to knock or warn them of her impending entrance much to his embarrassment. Her lips were trying to mouth words to him, to anyone around the room, her arms flailing around helplessly as she tried her best to get her message out to her boss. Jumin stood at the end of the table with the tips of his fingers bracing his weight against the wood as he leaned forward with an ominous intent, “Jaehee, what is so important that you had to so rudely interrupt this meeting?”

Jaehee didn’t flinch at his words but started crying and hyperventilating, clutching her board tighter to her chest she finally managed to eek out “It’s MC.” Without a second of hesitation Jumin ran out of the room with Jaehee in tow leaving a very confused board of directors behind.

“What is it Jaehee? Tell me? Is she ok? Where is she?” he demanded as he took her by the arms and shaking her viciously until she answered him.

“She, s-she snuck out and wanted t-to go driving by her-herself,” she hiccoughed through her tears, wiping them needlessly on the sleeve of her jacket. “But but Ju-min… there’s been an accident… she’s… she’s in surgery now at the-”

“Tell the driver to take me to our house” he ordered softly, squaring his cufflinks perfectly against his shirt. Jaehee stood up in alarm, didn’t he just hear what she said?

“Mister Han- your wife is in hospital-”

“I’m not hard of hearing Assistant Kang, I instructed you to do as I asked so that I may go and pick up some things for her so that she may be comfortable when she is out of surgery,” he replied with such calm Jaehee was taken aback. “She will not be comfortable in those hospital gowns… and she still has so much that she needs to do for the party… so she’ll need her p-planner and… the things in her… in her…” his voice had become fainter and his words less sure, “Jaehee…” he whimpered forcing his assistant to look into his eyes, “Please instruct the driver to take you back to my house, please gather whatever you think is appropriate, I will take another car to the hospital,” he decided as he loosened his tie and walked towards the building’s garage.

“As you say Mr Han,” she spluttered as she bowed and ran off without a moment’s hesitation. Jumin entered the car and sat down but quickly slid down the seat to the floor, twisting himself so that his elbows leant against the fine leather of the seat he perched his mouth against his clamped fists and began to pray, in earnest, out loud for the driver and the world to hear-

“Please Lord do not do this- take anything else, do anything else- but not to them. Let them live and I will do whatever it is you ask of me. Please. **Please**. Please. Please. **Please** …”

 

* * *

 

Saeyoung had gotten off the phone to Jaehee telling her that MC was in a car accident and that she would be at St Vincent’s hospital and was in surgery. Except MC was at St. Michael’s and she was lying in bed with her face blank, staring at the ceiling above her. When he had arrived the ambulance and firemen had already dragged her out of the wreckage and were about to take her to the hospital and apart from many cuts and bruises she looked fine. It was a miracle. With luck Jumin would be so incensed at the mix up and take forever to get into contact with Jaehee and Saeyoung that he would miss them completely before they checked her out and MC would still be able to make her flight in a couple of days.

Saeyoung pocketed his phone and sat back down beside her with a kind smile on his face, he could understand her stillness, she was probably in a state of shock with all that happened to her today. Taking her hand, he traced the pad of his thumb against her skin to try to gently bring her back to herself. MC flinched and tore her hand away from his loose grasp and then placed it back down away from him.

“The nurses said you were going to be ok” he scrambled, trying to find something to say to fill the silence that was swallowing them whole. “Said that we should be able to have you out by tonight if the doctors clear you”

“I won’t be out by tonight Saeyoung… I need emergency surgery.”

“Really? What kind? When?”

“They’ve scheduled me in for the next two hours.”

“Are… you… what did they say?”

“The doctors say I’m alive” she said flatly, clearly disappointed with the fact, “-but they tell me they me Taemin is dead.”

“Tae-min?” Saeyoung asked perplexed, the driver was winded but not harmed, no one else was hurt in that accident meaning… understanding dawned upon him…

“Taemin… is…”

“My son… My son is dead… I killed my son,” she said robotically again, and again. “I killed my son… Because of me, he’s dead- I took his life and swapped it for mine. I killed him to save _my_ life… I _**deserve**_ to die,” she admitted to no one in particular, her fingers gripping around the metal bars of her bed guard as she continued her chant. Saeyoung cradled his head in his hands as he tried to figure out what he could say in this situation. Was there anything he could say?  “Why did I live? Why didn’t I just die in that apartment all those years ago with that fucking bomb? It seems I should have died many times over _but I just keep getting saved_. I don’t deserve it. I should be dead, _you_ should kill me Saeyoung, just let it be done. So, I don’t have to face Jumin to tell him I killed our son because I was too weak to just stay at home and be a good wife- you should just throw me out that window-”

Saeyoung had gotten up and roughly pressed his palm against MC’s mouth to quieten her grief filled rant. He couldn’t stand to hear it anymore. It was enough. This woman had suffered enough.

“MC, are you listening to me?” he asked and he waited until she nodded slowly staring up at him wide eyed. “You will never say that to me or anyone again. You deserve to live. If you’re living it’s because you still have purpose on this world. You didn’t kill Taemin, no one killed him. It was a horrible accident and he was an innocent victim. Just like you. If you stayed there with Jumin you would have died. You were already dying there. Don’t ever feel the need to justify saving yourself when you were in a bad place. _You deserve to live_.”

Moving his hands from her face he could see the tears streaming down her face as she lay back and howled her pain that echoed along the corridors.

“I… I was m-meant to give birth to him! Not have him torn away and discarded from m-my body like trash!” she heaved tearing at her hair. “HE was meant to live Saeyoung!… He was meant to live…” MC sobbed as he took her into his arms and held her as close to him as possible, staying that way for the next hour before she was finally void of tears. “I can’t ever look at him in the eye again Saeyoung, I took away his wife and his child in one go… I have no right to ever look at him again” she panicked, her hands trying their best to push him away. Saeyoung tightened his grip on her and hushed her with the soft rocking of their bodies,

“Do you trust me MC?”

“… I… of… yes…”  
  
“Do you trust that I want the best for you and want to keep you safe?”

“… Yes.”

“Do you never want to see Jumin again?” he paused, pulling back to look at her in the eye. She faltered before looking back at him and nodded,

“It’s not that _I_ never want to see him again, I hope… I hope _he_ never has to lay his eyes on _me_ again… not after all of this” she confided as she tried to hide her face from him. Taking her head with both his hands he placed a soft but firm kiss on the centre of her forehead,

“Then I will take care of this,” he promised as he stepped away from the bed and taking his phone back out, “You rest up before they take you to surgery, I’ll be here when you wake up.”

Moving outside her hearing range he flicked through his numbers searching for the one person he never thought he’d have to talk to again.

“Vanderwood, it’s me Seven… listen… I need a _really_ big favour.”

* * *

_Jumin entered the hospital after being stuck in traffic for over an hour, still on his knees praying to God that this was just some divine test of faith and that he would see his wife safe and sound, ordering someone to bring her more food for their growing boy, for their Taemin. After heading straight into the ER, he was met by a tall sandy haired doctor who asked for him to join him in one of the private consultation rooms._

_“Please sit Mr Han,” he asked as he gestured to one of the chairs beside him. Jumin curtly shook his head and raised his hand in refusal._  
  
“You must know my hurry Doctor-?”

_“Doctor Woods” he answered as he pointed to his hospital badge, not that the other man cared._

_“Yes, Doctor Woods,” he continued, “My wife- I must see her, how was her surgery? Is she out now? Where is she?” he fired at him as he took off his jacket and slung it over his left forearm. When he looked back up to the doctor Jumin had to give pause- why wasn’t he answering any of his questions? Were they not clear enough? “My wife, Doctor?” he prodded impatiently._

_Doctor Woods looked desolately to the floor and shook his head before standing up to be by Jumin’s side. “I’m afraid Mr Han that while we tried everything we could-” he began_

_“No.”_

_“-there was nothing we could do to-”_

_“ **NO**!” he repeated raising his voice loud enough for the other patients to hear him through the closed doors. _

_“She was too far gone before she got into the hospital, the damage to her body was extensive and-”_

_“The baby!” Jumin cried grabbing the doctor by his coat so he was face to face with him, “Our baby- did he… did they both…?” he faded off before he could finish the question. He already knew the answer, why bother asking it? Why bother making it more real by acknowledging it._

_“I’m so sorry for your loss Mr Han.”_

_“Can… Can I see them- her? Can you please take me to her now?” he begged softly as his grip loosened on the man before him. The doctor put his hands on top of his in a show of sympathy but shook his head yet again._

_“Mr Han the damage I mentioned before… we had to identify who she was through dental records; her face was so badly wounded that she wasn’t recognisable… her body… many bones were broken-”_

_“Enough, please- I… enough,” he whispered as he finally sat down, his legs giving way under the crippling grief that found purchase on his shoulders._

_“I’ll leave you be but I’ll just be outside should you have any further questions- her personal effects will also be at the front desk when you are ready to pick them up,” he explained as he exited the room, shutting the door behind himself._

_Jumin sat alone in the office for hours not able to make himself move from that very spot. Everything he’d worked for, everything he’d loved- taken from him in an instant. For the first time in a long time, he found himself crying. Alone. MC would no longer be there to pick up his pieces and try to find out how they fit, she would no longer be there to hold him when the world became too much for him to understand, she would no longer be there to welcome him home, she would no longer be there with their son to welcome him home._

_Why did this happen? How could this have happened to them? He wouldn’t rest until he found out why she was out by herself in the first place- what madness had taken her to do something so stupid? He knew deep down he had to go home and begin all the necessary arrangements and in time investigate the reasons for her death… but, right at that time- he didn’t know if he could even crawl out of the building, if he could even bear to stand up ever again; there was no home for him anywhere, anymore._

_Lying down on the ground of the dirty hospital floor, Jumin kept crying._

* * *

Convincing Vanderwood to come to the hospital was even more difficult than he had bargained for but he knew the older man had a soft spot for him and would eventually agree. Handing him MC’s bloodied bag, clothes and phone he gave him the whole story he needed to tell Jumin and that he would cover the rest. The hospital files he needed to forge, the death certificate, the bribes that he would need to pay to insure staff wouldn’t say anything to the C&R heir, everything, he had promised MC he would.

What was more difficult was trying to get MC to want to live. She had to stay in hospital for a couple of days to insure she was recovering correctly from the surgery and for… other issues. The staff had overheard her tirade against her own life and were worried she’d try to harm herself after the forced caesarean was completed. She didn’t.  

Checking her out of the hospital and taking her back home to continue her recovery was more than a challenge. She never ate, she never bathed, if she could have stopped breathing she would have- Saeyoung had to threaten her by putting a drip into her if she didn’t eat by herself and had to tell her he’d wash her himself if she didn’t have a shower by the end of the day.

The day of her “funeral” was a state affair, something they’d have expected for the President of South Korea, not for some corporate man’s wife. People Saeyoung knew had never met MC were there to pay their respects to Jumin and her estranged family. He had never seen Jumin so sombre and morose, barely paying attention to social protocol and etiquette. He was clearly beyond the limits of devastation and the part of Saeyoung that was Jumin’s close friend mourned with him and hurt for him more than no other; no man deserves to lose their child- but the part that was in love with MC, the part that had orchestrated this whole thing- was glad for his pain. His suffering and enduring a life without her would be payment enough for his wrongdoings.  

Whether it was Jumin or himself -or both- that had distanced themselves from the RFA he would never know, as his priority now was to take care of MC and get her back to whatever she could call ‘better’, he’d even settle for OK- but every day was an uphill battle for the redhead. He’d talk to her about anything he could only to get silence or the occasional “hmm” from her, he’d cook every meal for her to only eat portions smaller than a mouse would eat and he’d hold her at night when the nightmares she ran from finally caught up to her.

Finally, one day- she was ready. One day, approximately 5 months after the accident and surgery- MC had gotten up by herself and had a shower and even prepared breakfast for the both of them. Saeyoung’s defences were at high alert, it was often when depressed people got “better” that they decided to do something to themselves- he watched every move she made like a hawk, they hadn’t come this far just to end this way.

They ate in companionable silence as she made soft sounds as she chewed and as he marvelled at how loudly his wall clock ticked away. Suddenly MC put down her cutlery on either side of her plate straightening the utensils fastidiously, almost nervously.

“Saeyoung,” she whispered, her voice unstable and croaky from not being used for anything but crying, “I want to go.” The red head opposite her simply raised one eyebrow in question, this woman hadn’t want to leave the bed for months and now she wanted to go somewhere?

“Sure thing MC- where to?” he asked shovelling another forkful of his scrambled eggs and bacon- _god it was good to eat someone else’s cooking for a change_. “The mall? The cinemas? The park?-” he began firing suggestion after suggestion until she frowned and shook her head dejectedly.

“I don’t want to stay here anymore, I want to leave Korea,” she explained looking reservedly at her plate. “Anytime I think of where I could go all I can think of is how I’d see reminders of Jumin and our baby and the life we _should_ have lived… and I can’t do that. I can’t keep hiding my face hoping that someone who knows Jumin will recognise me and tell him the truth. I need to leave. I need to leave soon.” Saeyoung nodded as he listened to her reasons and had to admit he agreed with her, this was already part of his plan from the beginning after all, get MC to a new country with a new identity and a new start at life- she deserved that much.  

“Anywhere you want to go in particular MC?” he inquired as he pulled out his phone, ready to make the necessary arrangements. He watched as MC shrugged in a noncommitting manner and made a face like she was trying to think.

“Somewhere… somewhere where life is simpler and… somewhere I can be me again, the me I was before I so stupidly lost myself.” Saeyoung reached out and took one of her hands in his and squeezed firmly before grinning widely at MC. Before she knew it MC’s eyes had turned upwards at the corners ever so slightly from the first smile she worn in months.

“Done.”

 

* * *

 

MC had no idea she wasn’t going alone. She hadn’t known until she was at the gate about to board and she was embracing Saeyoung like her life depended on it, bawling while trying to thank him for everything he’d done for her and trying her best to find the words to say goodbye- only then did she realise that he wasn’t letting go or saying goodbye. When she asked about his behaviour he merely scratched the back of his head and said he didn’t have to say goodbye seeing as he was sitting next to her on the plane and living with her in the same house when they got to their destination. Revelations which earnt him a few good slaps against his person for leading her on and letting her cry like an idiot in public and now she had to _sit next to him for 8 hours_ and GOD he was such an asshole and she couldn’t stand him and… _thank you_.

After giving him another bone crushing hug, she turned around taking his hand in hers and boarded the flight.

“By the way Saeyoung did I fail to mention that I get horribly air sick and have to sit alone due to my tendency to throw up on other passengers?” MC asked as she buckled her seatbelt, looking straight forward without a hint of deception on her face.

“Ahaha, that’s funny MC… this flight is booked solid there are no other seats available… you’re… ahaha… joking right… ha?” her friend tried to laugh nervously as he perched himself as close to the aisle and as far away from her as possible.

MC blinked slowly and slowly let a foreboding smile sneak across her face as she picked up the sick bag and opened it, ready for use. Saeyoung, for all his bluster, would have gladly suffered being covered in vomit for the duration of the flight if it meant he could see more glimpses of his dearest friend come back to life ( ~~he was about to get his wish~~ ).

 

* * *

 

Living away from the comforts they had both become accustomed to was only the second most difficult thing to adjust to, the first was trying to manoeuvre around getting his heart destroyed by this grand master plan of his. Did he think it through when he decided to book two tickets? _No_. Did he think it through when he booked it under Mr and Mrs Kim? _Why would he?!_ Did he think it through when he purchased the small cottage and put MC as the primary owner and him, her husband as the secondary? **_OF COURSE NOT_**. He was God 707, fly by the seat of his pants, devil may care…. _Yeah he really royally fucked up._

It was completely different when he had to take care of MC- he was almost paternal to her, not a romantic thought went through his head for all those months he lived with her- but now that she was on the real road to recovery, now that she was smiling again, laughing and by the Lord in Heaven _flirting_ with him again and making lewd innuendos… he was only a man, a weak, susceptible man. He would hear her in the shower humming and he’d imagine being in there with her running his fingers through her wet locks of hair. He’d watch her cooking and he’d envision himself pushing her against the counter and kissing her so deeply that she’d feel no need to eat anymore. He’d catch her napping in their hammock on the porch and he would never run out of ways he could _creatively wake her up._

He patted himself on the back for making it past 2 years without cracking; he could never forgive himself if he made a move on the grieving woman, to take advantage of her at her most vulnerable. He mentally congratulated himself whenever someone would address her as Mrs Kim ( ~~Choi~~ ) and she’d respond and hold his hand and he wouldn’t break in a cold sweat wishing more than anything that it was true… but he couldn’t do it anymore. He had found his limit. He wanted MC to be his and his alone but he knew it wasn’t meant to be.

_MC was much better now after all, she was happy here and started a great life where she taught the children of the village how to speak English and sometimes some Korean if pressed hard enough- she was so well loved by the children, their parents and by all the locals. Surely she would be more than fine here- he’d simply tell the villagers that they were getting divorced and he was going to leave but she wanted to stay. The villagers would huddle around her and support her through the hard times, maybe she’d even find someone she could love here and build a family…_

Saeyoung pictured her again with that brilliant smile of hers, with her hands clasped around a rounded belly, swollen with some other lucky bastard’s child- her ring finger gleaming with yet another’s band… anyone but him apparently. He was Saeyoung Choi. He didn’t deserve her and she, she deserved more than him. Growing more and more frustrated with himself he growled as he tore the bedcovers off and lugged himself into the shower, the shower MC was _just_ in. God he needed to get laid, he was getting turned on by just by the thought of the girl in the shower. Turning on the cold water as high as it would go, Saeyoung stepped in ignoring the harsh bite of the water as it rippled down his body.

_Keep a clear mind man, MC deserves to chance to be happy and you’re only holding her back. Stay focused. This is all for her. There’s no way that she wants you like you want her, everything is in your head. She will always be in your head._

The clothes that he had thrown on were sticking to him in odd patches as he wasn’t yet completely dry when he put them on in haste to get dressed and return to his room. He was wiping his glasses on the edge of his slightly damp shirt when he quite literally bumped into a grinning MC holding up a spoon of something to his face for him to taste. Stepping back and around her, he quickly made to move past her but unfortunately MC was used to this game. Running in front of him to stop him in his tracks she lifted up her spoon back to his mouth. Giving up, Saeyoung opened his mouth and swallowed whatever was on the spoon and attempted to appear annoyed. Letting the flavours dance over his palette he had to admit whatever it was, it was amazing and a grateful smile quickly replaced his scowl. At the change of his expression MC was practically bouncing on her heels with happiness as she rushed back into the kitchen to finish up breakfast.

Saeyoung rushed into his room and took out his luggage and threw it open on the bed before jumping on his computer to begin looking up flights to go _anywhere_. He was so completely enraptured in his own little world he didn’t notice MC standing right beside him until she placed the plate of pancakes beside him, her eyes glued to the screen before her. She had come in earlier after screaming for a solid two minutes for him to come out because his food was getting cold before finally giving up and trekking in… only to see his suitcase ready to be packed and him hurriedly looking up flights. _What had gone wrong? Weren’t they happy here?_ _What had gone wrong?!_

MC could feel the rush of unbidden tears flow into her eyes and a heavy feeling in the pit of her stomach that she hadn’t felt in over a year at the thought of Saeyoung leaving her. The hacker looked up to see her forlorn expression and the tears that were teetering on the rims of her eyes before she quickly dashed out of the room excusing herself for some reason or another. Pulling at his hair in frustration at himself for not talking to her about it first he gave himself a quick slap to face knocking his glasses skew before running out after her.

Sitting huddled on the corner of their couch was MC, trying and failing to hide her crying. Saeyoung’s heart tugged painfully at his chest, ordering him to do something that would make her stop. Crossing the room cautiously to sit beside her, he placed one hand on her shoulder only for her to shrug it off forcefully. He tried twice more to the same result before getting fed up and half pulling, half lifting her onto his lap where he tucked her head on his shoulder and held her close. It was not an unfamiliar position for them, he often used it when he consoled her during her most difficult times, well practised and used, it was a comfort for both of them.

Only when her draws for breath became more consistent and her sobs diminished into nothing but mewls did Saeyoung push her back to look at her again. Nose red, eyes watery with her lashes sticking together at odd angles and her lips still slightly quivering- she was just so beautiful to him, he couldn’t think straight couldn’t act right around her. It was the perfect reminder for him that he couldn’t be with her, that she was better without him.

“Why are you crying MC?” he asked gently as if he were comforting a child, sliding his large hands over her hair, he tried his hardest not to notice how she followed his touch- like she wanted it.

Wiping at her eyes roughly she glowered at the man under her before hitting him hard with open palms. “Why are you leaving me?!” she demanded, still hitting him but with less power each time she landed a strike. “Where are you going?” she asked pathetically as he grabbed her by the wrists and outstretched her arms by her side so she couldn’t hit him anymore. Seeing that all the fight had left her he released her hands and watched as she placed them back onto his chest, her fingers twisting themselves into his shirt, her hands a welcome pressure against him. Bending his neck forward so he could place two quick pecks on her hands, he sat back to righted his glasses to look at her properly.

“I… to be honest MC I think you’re doing really well and that I’m just getting in the way of you truly moving on- I don’t want to stand in the way of your happiness-” he tried to explain only to feel the pressure of her hands against his chest strengthen, his shirt getting tighter from the stress of her grasp. “I just want you to be happy.”

MC sat forward until her forehead met his and closed her eyes, her fingers still wrapped up between them, her chest rising up and down in waves as she breathed in the soap on his skin and the mint from his toothpaste on his breath.

“I am happy Saeyoung,” she breathed, rubbing her forehead against his and loosening her fingers so open palms splayed across his chest, “I am happiest when you’re with me.”

His heart couldn’t take this, there wasn’t much of it left and if he gave it away to her and it turned out to be a mistake… he didn’t know what would be left of him. Opening her eyes so she was peering straight into his honeyed ones, she leant further in to barely touch her lips against his, like a prayer only they could speak.

Saeyoung’s eyes flashed open at the contact, his heart speeding around in its cavity, his lungs fit to burst from the air trapped inside.

It was all real. This wasn’t a dream. Or some sick fantasy he played on repeat in his head, she was in his arms, on his lap and she wanted to be there. With him.

“Please… please don’t leave Saeyoung. I promise from here on out that I’ll stop being inappropriate, that I’ll stop flirting with you and everything that you don’t want- I just needed to kiss you once…I’m sorry” she beseeched him, her hands clasping each other in an attempt to shield herself from him. “I promise whatever feelings I’ve shown towards you, I’ll get rid of them- I just- I can’t imagine anything without you” she admitted, her eyes down cast and the tips of her ears flourishing into a bright pink. “You’ve finally brought me back to who I was before all this, before Jumin, before the RFA, I know who I am around you and who I want to be and I can’t lose it again… and I can’t lose you.”

Saeyoung felt as if finally, someone up there was listening to him, as if finally one thing was going to go right in his life.

“Then promise me something MC,” he said as he pulled her face back up to his, waiting for her to affirm she was listening to him. “Promise me that you won’t hold anything back.”

From what he saw MC’s eyes lit up but he couldn’t confirm it as he was too busy closing his own before he tasted her lips.

MC answered him by meeting every move of his lips with her own, their mouths slowly fighting for dominance in a war they didn’t know they were fighting. The moment Saeyoung felt MC’s tongue lick the tips of his lips, begging for entrance he felt his consciousness slip from his body. Tightly fisting his hand in her hair until she let out a surprised moan, he slid his tongue along hers, finally tasting the sweetness of her mouth. She tasted like pancakes and berries and the slightest citrus from her juice. She was his favourite flavour now and he wouldn’t stop until he had sampled everything she offered. Running his mouth down the graceful column of her neck he nipped and suck his way down until he found a particularly beautiful patch of skin in the juncture between her neck and shoulder and bit down hard, causing MC to buck against him unexpectedly- eliciting yet another moan from her and a whimper from him.  

MC carefully took off his glasses and placed them down on the table behind them, never letting her eyes break away from his. Using both her hands she peeled away her shirt and threw it somewhere beside her and quickly did the same to his. He was in awe of how smooth and tempting every exposed inch of her was, from the velvety texture of her skin to the swell of her breasts; everything about this woman was meant to be touched. MC trailed over his skin like she was writing a map, memorising each freckle and scar across his body with her fingers, her soft hands gliding over him was both soothing and exhilarating.  Pulling her into another kiss as his deft hands made easy work of her bra; he revelled in the way her naked skin felt against his, the feel of her breasts pressed against his chest just so- so close he could feel her heartbeat beside his. Tracing his fingers down her back and across her stomach she flinched back suddenly as he happened upon the scar. For the first time MC exhibited embarrassment and shame and tried to cover herself up from his sight- something that hurt Saeyoung more than she could have known.

“Don’t hide from me MC, I’ve been here from the start and I’ll be here to the end- I want to be part of everything with you, every smile, every tear and every scar- I want all of you MC,” he confessed, his hands skimming over the marred flesh tenderly.

“I love you MC… I have always loved you” Saeyoung finally declared, his heart reclaiming a piece it didn’t know it still had. “I will always love you” he uttered as he placed an opened mouth kiss against the alcove above her heart.  MC ran her fingers through his hair and gently scraped her nails against his scalp sending tingles down his spine and straight to his groin, but Saeyoung stayed resilient and waited to hear if she would say the words back… if she could say the words back.

“I know you have. I know you do. I’m so sorry it took me so long to really see it, to understand what was happening inside me and what I wanted. All I know seeing you trying to leave me was all the wake up I needed- I don’t want to do this without you. I don’t want to be without you,” she whispered between peppering his face and neck with soft kisses and caresses of her hands. Saeyoung’s breathing had all but stopped, he was waiting, he was always waiting- 

“I love you too, Saeyoung.”

-No more.

_More than five years of waiting, holding everything back, lying to himself._

**_No more._ **

Kissing between the valley of her breasts Saeyoung moved his head to the side to capture one orb in his mouth, swirling his tongue over her sensitive nipple causing her to throw her head back and unconsciously put a hand over her mouth to mask her gasp. Lightly grazing his teeth over the pebbled skin to garner her attention he tutted and waggled his index finger back and forth, “Tsk tsk my lovely MC- you promised not to hold anything back- I want to see and hear everything you can give me” he commanded, his voice lowering half an octave, exciting MC so much she swallowed reflexively and licked her lips at the sound. “I want _everything._ ”

Pressing her thighs against him tighter with the crooks of his elbows, he skilfully spun them around so her back was against the cool material of the couch as he hovered above her, both of them grinning madly at each other as they both ripped at the clasps and buttons that fastened the last bits of their clothing to them. Marvelling openly at the sight of _his_ woman bare underneath him was more than Saeyoung could take before he started exploring her with his hands and his mouth- every curve, every dip, every peak and every hidden place that made MC sing beneath him. Her pants and sighs were verses, her moans and her quaking flesh the refrain and the arching of her back and her breathlessness the coda of her song, just for him.

There, stark as the day they were born, one upon another- did Saeyoung thank God. Realigning his body above hers, softly nuzzling her nose with his until her eyes refocused and looked back up at him with such adoration in her eyes that the wind was knocked right out of him. Gathering himself, he pressed his lips against hers again and finally, as he slid inside her- did he know for certain, that wherever this woman was, he was home.  

 

* * *

 

Fixing his glasses as he sat cross legged on the beach he couldn’t help but smile at the picturesque view that played out before him. Pristine white sand and an ocean so clear you could see right to the bottom to the floor bed. A gorgeous sunset was painting the sky with the colours of romance and the weather was perfect for lovers to bask in. Lifting his camera he happened to spot a lovely couple laughing and playing down the shoreline- the woman was heavily pregnant from what he could see from the distance and trying her best to collect shells from the wet sand underfoot, her top heavy weight challenging her every time she tried to do so, earning the guffaws from what he assumed was her husband. He chuckled to himself as he took a few snaps of the happy couple as they frolicked, embraced and kissed on the beach, the father even stopping to bend down to explain the difference between shell shapes to the bump on the woman’s front.

Taking off his sunglasses to inspect the quality of the photos he had taken a frown quickly appeared on his handsome face. Zooming in closer and closer onto the faces of the couple on the beach, his mouth went dry and his mind turned to blank. Rummaging through his satchel he picked up his phone and pressed the first number on his speed dial, all the while keeping his eyes locked on the oblivious couple still enjoying their time together.

“V- It’s the middle of the night-”

“Jumin-“

“V… what’s wrong?”

“I… she… she’s alive…”

A profound silence stretched out between the two friends as Jumin’s mind fired with a thousand questions- one leading to another with no resolution in sight- until he finally came to his senses, “Are you… are you sure… I… Where? How?”

V shrugged and shook his head as if his friend could see his actions and understand that he was just as shocked and confused as he was, “Yes Jumin I would know her face anywhere- but Jumin… Jumin she’s not alone” he warned, trying to prepare his friend for more heartbreak. “She’s… she’s moved on”

Jumin gritted his teeth and practically snarled on the other line, “Who?”

V closed his eyes and sighed deeply knowing that answering this question was signing the man’s death warrant.

“It’s Saeyoung, Jumin. She’s with Saeyoung now.”

V could hear the ragged, uneven breathing and the muffled roars of fury on the other end of the phone and could only imagine what crazed look his friend had upon his face, what destruction lay on the other side of the world.

“Where V- Where are they?” he demanded, his rage palpable through the phone. V hesitated, wishing to God he had thought through his actions better before foolishly picking up his phone.

“Maybe you should just let them be Jumin- they look happy and-” he tried to dissuade him, to save his former friends as best he could…

**_“…Never.”_ **

 

 


	2. 5b

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continuation of Saeyoung's story... what happens now that Jumin knows that MC is alive? What happens now that he knows he's been betrayed?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okie dokie! I apologise for the wait for this but I've been super busy and only had the time to do this now- still slowly making my way through this series from my Tumblr... I will get there (sorry for any typos etc... I'm afraid I don't have a beta and haven't had a chance to thoroughly inspect this)

_Everything had gone perfectly, it was more than a fitting way to say goodbye to her… to them, Jumin thought as he opened the front door of his house. Slipping off his shoes and shedding his jacket he slowly made his way into the living room and let his red rimmed eyes roam around aimlessly. This was his house. He had lived in it for years before she came along. He could do it again… but looking at the furniture he chose, the pictures he had hung up, the décor he hand-picked, everything had a bit of MC ingrained in it. The couch had the throw rug she used every night to sit up with him as he worked- she said that her feet got cold and tucking them underneath him all the time distracted him as he would only focus on her and not his work, she was always thinking of him like that. The pictures now included their wedding photos, photos he had blurrily taken of her during their honeymoon (“I love them! We’re keeping them Jumin!”), photos of him she had taken without him knowing …their life was hanging on the walls._

_His chest had started to ache again, that dull but constant emptiness he had been fighting off for the last week had surged up within him, no longer dull, no longer an ache; but an all-encompassing, breath stealing, soul crushing torment that threatened to engulf him ever so completely. His legs giving away at the enormity of what he was feeling, Jumin’s vision began to swirl and his peripheral fading to black- his breaths coming in rapid and shallow, like his lungs couldn’t hold any air at all… what was happening to him?_

_MC… MC… Taemin… Oh God… just think of them… think of them… don’t think of them…_

_Breathe._

_He can’t._

_Crouched over himself, his forehead kissing the ground with one hand out to balance himself and the other on his chest- Jumin Han allowed the first tears to fall since the day at the hospital where he was told the world he as he knew was over. He was all alone again._

_Using all the strength he could muster he pushed himself back up to his knees as he scanned the room again. The furniture, the pictures… all so familiar and yet… none of it right. None of it was his- theirs- anymore. This was a stranger’s home that mocked him and everything he ever held dear. This was not his home. He couldn’t do this again._

_Jolting from the ground with a renewed vigour from his incensed thoughts, Jumin reached over and tore MC’s favourite blanket, shredding the once well-loved fabric. He ran through the hallways of his house and ripped down every one of their photos uncaring of the glass that shattered around him that bit into his socks and skin. He opened the door to the last room of the house and stood in the doorway, chest heaving from exertion and emotion._

_Taemin’s room. Taemin’s crib. The chair MC took weeks deliberating on, (“I’ll be rocking our baby to sleep in that chair Jumin, it’s important that it’s right!”). The kitten mobile that he and MC had painstakingly made by hand just the month before. MC’s packed hospital bag ready and waiting for when it was time to deliver their son._

_Jumin’s wavering heart couldn’t stand to look at it anymore but he couldn’t bring himself to touch anything either… no matter what his logical brain said. He didn’t need this room anymore, he didn’t need any of this stuff anymore._

_He didn’t need anything._

_Closing the door as he stepped back into the hallway, he somehow managed to drag his bloodied feet to ~~their~~ … **his** , bedroom. Stripping down to only his underwear and leaving his clothes scattered on the ground, he walked into his walk-in wardrobe to find a clean shirt to wear to bed. Slapping at the wall blindly to turn off the wardrobe light, Jumin growled in frustration whenever he missed it in his haste. Turning his head to look for it he noticed in the corner of his eye- a large, rectangular package was peeking out from MC’s side of the wardrobe. Jaehee must have jostled her things when she was trying to find something for MC to wear while she was at the hospital… not that she had ever needed them. _

_Walking over unhurriedly, Jumin stretched out his arm to pick up the parcel- it was heavy he noted, as he hauled it back on to ~~their~~ … **his** bed. There was a tag on the corner which he ripped off carelessly, blinking his eyes a few times to focus his eyes to read the note scribbled on it. It was in MC’s handwriting. _

_“ **Jumin Han! You put this back where you found it! This is your wife talking- you put this back until I give it to you myself!”** _

_But that was never going to happen._

_Taking in a deep breath Jumin began clawing away at the paper, tearing at it in random strips until its contents were finally revealed. A large, plain silver frame. A picture of a smiling MC, bare from the waist up, her long hair covering her breasts and her hands splayed across her blossoming stomach. Beneath it the latest ultrasound photo of their son’s beautiful face… the words- ‘We Love You Daddy’ inscribed in silver with her beautiful curving calligraphy. Jumin’s hands ghosted over the pristine glass, shaking almost uncontrollably. His fingers about to touch it…but before he understood what he was doing, he had lifted the frame up above his head and smashed it against the ground._

_Gazing down at what he had just done in horror, Jumin instantly fell to his knees and scraped the broken glass off the picture of his wife and son, letting the shards sink into his own flesh, unaffected. His tears diminishing into the photograph below him, his fingertips leaving a light trail of crimson against the purest white._

_Heaving in breaths as his heart roared against his chest, fists clenching in upon themselves embedding the glass further in- compelling himself to feel this pain- just this one last time._

_“I’m so sorry, I’m sorry… MC… Taemin… I’m so sorry D-Daddy couldn’t protect you both. I-I loved you both,” he wept as he stroked their picture lovingly, this, the last sacred part of his wife and child he had. Curling amongst the shards of glass, he held the frame against himself and lay awake, holding them, “I’ll love you still.”_

* * *

Saeyoung would never get tired of this, never get used it, never wanted to stop. Being with MC was something that he still thanked God for every day, being able to touch her, kiss her, call her his whenever he wanted- out loud- they were all gifts. Having MC do the same to him, they were blessings. To be able to reach out and know that she would always be there, that was peace. 

…That and the sex was amazing.

No matter how many times Saeyoung had taken her it always felt new, raw, like the first time. He felt like each time they fell into each other and lost themselves that there was always something new to learn about her. How she liked to be touched, what parts of her were more sensitive than others, what she tasted like before and what she tasted like after… he wanted to know everything, and he was always a very eager student.

Running his hands up and down the sides of her body as she writhed on top of him, he marvelled at the sight of her slightly open mouth, her eyes shut tightly in a look of concentration as she raced herself to find her completion. Her beautiful hair flowing loosely behind her except for the strands closest to her face that were drenched with sweat that stuck to her temples and down the sides of her cheeks. Her hands, one clawing against his chest the other propped on the mattress beside his head- pressing her weight delightfully into him as she continued to ride him. Reaching his right hand further in between him to find one of his most favourite spots of her body, he watched as MC’s mouth dropped open and released a low keening moan as her head fell back the instant his fingers found his target. He could feel in the tremors of her legs, the jerky motions of her once fluid gyrations upon him and the rigidness of her body- she wouldn’t be too far off now…

And then suddenly as if he had planned it down to the second, MC was clamouring out _his_ name, over and over like a chant as she dragged her nails down his chest, her other hand twisted up in her own hair like she was trying to ground herself to this reality, to him. The familiar feel of her spasming around him stole his breath away as her body forced his into finishing with her. Pulling MC down against him, enjoying the feeling of their sweat slicked bodies alongside each other, just waiting for their breathing to even out and their hearts to stop racing. Threading his fingers through her hair, Saeyoung moved his hand further down to brace her neck as he expertly flipped them over so she lay on her back with him on top, and still inside of her.  He loved just watching her come back down to earth, how dreamy her eyes looked and how her skin seemed to shine- and oh how she’d smile up at him; like he was her world and though she was crashing back down towards him, she was so happy to do it.

Ruffling his hair against her neck to tickle her so she’d laugh, MC took him by either side of his head and laid a sound kiss against his lips, pulling away giggling when Saeyoung had tried to deepen it. “Oh no you don’t mister- I think that is all I can take for today!” she retorted to his sad whimpers as she gently pushed him off of her, beaming smile still firmly in place. Saeyoung lay back but caught MC’s hand within his and started slapping palms against hers playfully albeit lazily, just enjoying each other’s company and the casual rhythmic touch of their hands. Saeyoung almost drifted off to sleep until he heard MC make a thoughtful noise, yawning as he turned around to face her, his tired eyes still craving to look upon her.

MC dropped her head to the side to return his gaze and offered him a half smile before looking back up to the ceiling of their bedroom. Reaching out to push back some wayward wisps of her hair he asked grinning, “Hey you, what ‘ya thinking ‘bout so deeply huh? Didn’t I tire you out enough?” MC played at frowning before impishly slapping his hand away from her face.

“Ah- it’s… just… oh forget it, it’s nothing,” she gushed as colour began to flood her cheeks, MC gathering the blankets around her to hide her face. _Now Saeyoung definitely wanted to know what she was thinking about_. Bracing his body so that his torso was hovering above hers, the red head started to nudge at the ticklish areas he could reach; her neck, behind her ears until finally pushing his nose into her cheeks repeatedly saying “Tell me, Tell me, Tell me” until she squawked with laughter, batting away at the tops of his arms and shoulders to push him away.

“Ok! OK!” she giggled, hands up in the air in surrender. “Like I said it wasn’t anything important, I just… I just… aren’t you religious?” she asked, turning away slowly so she didn’t have to look him in the eye. Saeyoung wasn’t expecting that. Like, he was expecting for her to have some really racy requests to make her blush like that- but to ask about religion? After going at it like rabbits… well… _okie dokie_.

“Um- yeah I guess most people would say that I am,” he answered honestly trying to figure what could lead her to this line of thought, “Why?” Saeyoung inquired, as he greedily observed the colour that filled her cheeks slowly seep down her neck and even to the planes of her chest. MC cleared her throat and even coughed a couple of times into her fist, clearly embarrassed before convincing herself to look into her lover’s handsome face.

“I… Oh God you’re really making me say this aren’t you… you sick bastard… just enjoying my discomfort” she fumed, staring directly into his striking honeyed eyes.  
  
“Only a little” he admitted snickering to himself,  
  
“Liar!”

“Only a lot.”

“Urgh!” MC grunted as she pushed herself to sit up, clutching the sheets against her chest. “I- I ask because with you being religious- didn’t you believe in the whole no sex before marriage… thing?”

Saeyoung scratched his head distractedly as he tried to think of an answer that wouldn’t make him sound like some, thirsty, rabid dog just after a quick romp with her. Well, of course that statement wasn’t entirely incorrect, it did have a certain ring of truth to it.

“Because,” MC continued, playing with the ends of her hair as she often did when she was nervous, “-because… isn’t what we’re doing really against what you believe?”

Saeyoung stared at this adorable lover in absolute shock, his jaw unhinging, leaving his mouth wide open. MC growing flustered and irritated at his expression turned ever redder and blustered as she spun herself around with her back facing him. Grabbing the woman by her arms and pulling her back so she was on her back, pouting sweetly up at him; Saeyoung chuckled to himself at how this woman could go from sex vixen to sugar cookie in less than 2 seconds.

“It is against my beliefs, but our situation is a little different,” he confessed watching as MC’s playful pout disintegrated into a look of gloom.

“Is… is that because of what I did to Jumin? Or… because I’m still technically married to him? That it’s me sinning and not you?” she asked seriously, her eyes turning red at the emotions churning within her. “Is it because-”

Saeyoung swept in and kissed her, his lips silencing her doubts and self-flagellation; MC could have said anything cruel about him and it would have bounced right off him (no one can insult Saeyoung better than Saeyoung) but the moment she started attacking herself- that was one thing he couldn’t accept. To him, she was impeccable, and no one- not even her- could convince him otherwise.

“Shh MC, it’s different because… because in my eyes, in the eyes of the world and in God’s; MC Han and Luciel Choi went to sleep, but woke up to become MC and Saeyoung Kim… as far as I’m concerned- we’ve been married the moment you said you loved me,” he proclaimed as he gazed down at her tenderly, his right thumb sketching the edge of her jawline.  MC’s eyes swelled and her mouth made a small ‘O’ in surprise as his words truly settled in, to him she was his wife.

“I… I- uh,” she started but unable to continue, her trembling hands closing over his, linking their fingers together.

“Do you want me to propose to you and have a wedding to make everything official?”

MC shook her head vigorously, still rendered mute at the direction her questions had brought them to. “Did… you want to be my wife MC?” he questioned, his eyes peering straight into hers, hoping against hope that she wouldn’t say no. She nodded. Feeling bolder, a smirk steadily gracing his still youthful features, “Did you want _me_ to be your husband?” 

Another timid nod. 

“Say it, tell me MC,” he urged her, one arm encircling her to bring her nude body flush against his, “-tell me what you want.”

MC could feel her heart jump into her throat and beat faster at her ex-hacker’s words and actions and although she still had her reservations about where everything stood- she was certain that she wanted to be with Saeyoung. “Y-Yes Saeyoung. I want to be your wife, I want you to be my husband.” Releasing the tension coiled within him, he slumped down and covered her body with his. Taking her right arm and making the sign of the cross over her and then repeating the same action himself, he leant forward to place kisses on her lovely lips in between his words,

“Then by the power invested in me, by me, I God 707, pronounce us as man and wife” he crooned. MC’s melancholy completely gone, she laughed as he continued to layer his kisses wherever he could reach.

“Oh is that all it takes then? God 707’s blessing and we’re already man and wife?” she asked disbelievingly as she raked her hands through his bed hair, loving the sight of him leaning into her touch like the cats he so adored. “That’s it then? We’re married now?”

Saeyoung slid in between her legs and wrapped her arms around his backs as he balanced his weight on his elbows resting on either side her head, his chin resting on his fists to look upon her.

“That’s all it takes if that’s what you want,” he promised as he lowered one hand to skim over her hair that fanned over the pillows.

“That’s what I want.”

“Then there’s only one thing left to do,” Saeyoung said seriously his brow furrowing, his lips pressed together in a firm line of resolve. MC sat up on her elbows, her face a breath’s distance from his, “What is that?” she probed before a yelp of surprise flew from her mouth. Saeyoung tugged at her elbows so she fell back to the bed brusquely allowing the larger male to loom over her dangerously, a dark leer titivating his features as he lay completely on top of her, skin to skin, so not even air could escape. Lowering his mouth to her ear he released a hot breath against it as he ran his left hand down the side of her arm, feeling for the goose bumps that rose on her skin. Relishing the slight trembling of her body under his Saeyoung let his lips glide over her ear as he spoke,

“Now… MC… _Wife_ … We need to consecrate the union.”

Taking just a moment to insure she was wet enough to take him, he pushed himself into her until he was fully seated to the hilt. Saeyoung hissed at being surrounded by her as she swore under her breath at his welcome intrusion. Letting MC adjust to him again he waited until he felt the small rock of her hips beneath him until he teasingly began to move, achingly slow.

“The-there is nothing more holy than this union between us right now MC,” he asserted as he put all his effort into keeping his state of mind, less he fuck her senseless into the bed. MC thrashed underneath him, her fingers marking him along the sides of his ribs and down his taut arms.

“Is… that your… way of saying… hnng… ahh… your way of s-saying that God’s watching us and approves of th-this… ahhh-   _yes, Saeyoung!_ ” she panted between each devastating thrust.

“Didn’t you know MC? God is the _best_ voyeur” he joked just before slamming into her causing MC to arch her back and expose her neck to his awaiting mouth, his teeth and tongue ready to lavish their attention upon her flesh.

Quivering with lust, MC let out a throaty laugh, “It s-seems god’s a bit of a pervert”

“Oh- he most definitely is,” he agreed as bent over to lave at her neglected breasts, thoroughly enjoying the power he held over her body and the reactions that were offered up to him. Tugging roughly at his hair to make him jeer, MC returned his devilish grin.   
  
“Not as bad as you though,” she managed to deride before melting back into the sheets.

“Ahh but I’m… I’m your perverted God,” he corrected as he tweaked a sensitive nipple between his fingers causing MC to cry out.

“Touché my love… Touché.”

Saeyoung was insatiable knowing that this wouldn’t be the last time he would have her today, or tomorrow, or next year… and knowing that she now acknowledged him as her husband; with no ceremony or certificate, only by the love she held for him in her heart made him want her even more. He had never felt so loved or wanted more in his whole life than at that moment. God was good.      

* * *

_Throwing his head back to capture the liquid from the bottle in his hand, Jumin avariciously swallowed every last drop that he could, even sucking at the opening until all the flavour of the Port had gone. Swishing the bottle in front of his blurry eyes to see his handiwork, a small smirk appeared on his face before quickly vanishing at the thought he’d need to find more wine again. Dropping the bottle to his side where it clicked loudly against the other discarded bottles on the floor, Jumin waveringly got to his feet to his wine rack, tottering precariously about, losing track of his steps. After what seemed like hours of stumbling Jumin reached the bare boned rack, and when he eventually realised that the rack wasn’t going to miraculously generate more wine magically he clicked his tongue in disappointment before starting another trek to reach the phone._

_Feeling his way along the room and steadying his steps by walking by the walls he eventually reached his couch which he took as his leave to fall onto. Sloppily crawling along the fine leather, he extended his long arms to reach for the phone- haphazardly pressing numbers._

_“Mr Han,” the other caller addressed him immediately, leaving the heir rather surprised. Dragging his hand through his hair and down his face to try to wake himself up, he smacked his lips together trying to recall why he’d call them at all. A sudden pang of thirst consumed him and he quickly he remembered the reason,_

_“Ah… Chef Geum please head out and… and p-procure another case of that Port,” Jumin ordered trying his best not to slur his words. A pause of confusion rang out before the other person responded uncertainly to him._

_“My apologies Mr Han but you seem to have dialled the security line but- it’s also 4am and there would be no shops open that Chef Geum could purchase that for you”_

_“Then you head to m-my office and get the bottlesss there, call Assistant Kang and ask for her to ssshhow you where to get them!” he barked at the security guard before hanging up abruptly.  Jumin blinked once, twice, three times but his vision kept dancing in front of him- deciding to keep his eyes closed was the best choice to stop the room from spinning._

_Jumin woke up to from stinging on his cheek. His movements too sluggish and uncoordinated to fight off his assailant… when his line of sight finally converged together to form one concise picture he managed to look up at this bold attacker… Assistant Kang._

_Jaehee stood there in fluffy pink flannelette pyjamas, her hair askew, both hands on her hips and a sour look on her face, her right foot tapping impatiently… at him?  
“Assistant Kang… what are you doing here? Did I call you?” he garbled between yawns as he stretched leisurely. Jaehee’s temper began to flare at the pathetic sight of her once composed and self-assured friend hitting rock bottom and thinking the only way to go was further down. Balling her hands together behind her so she didn’t give in to the temptation to smack him again Jaehee stood over her superior with a stern but concerned look on her face. _

_“Did you call me? Why no- no you didn’t Mr Han. However Guardsman Choi did, in an absolute state telling me that you were drunk and asking for more to drink because you’ve obliterated your entire wine collection in the last four days!” she lectured, her foot still tapping exacerbating his headache._

_“Jumin! **Mr Han**!” she continued her tone shrill and filled with annoyance, “-we purchased you enough wine to last over a month. Have you eaten anything at all? Are you just drinking alcohol? When was the last time you even showered?” _

_Jumin sat there, his chin resting pathetically against his chest as he really tried to think about the questions Jaehee asked of him. He hadn’t eaten anything in days, he was rarely hungry these days. He’s pretty sure he was only drinking alcohol- but in his alcohol filled stupor who knew if he was desperate enough to drink the bleach in the cabinet… Lord knows he’s been tempted enough while he was sober. Shower? He thinks he had a shower the last time she was there… which was… was…_

_Grimacing at the state he must be in, Jumin tried to stand up but quickly lost balance and fell back on to the couch again. This time Jaehee bent over and helped him to right himself before aiding him to stand up slowly, one hand wrapped around her shoulders to support him, the other clasping at his pounding head. Jaehee propped him against the sink as she worked to turn on the shower, running out of the room and coming back holding one of his dining chairs and putting it in under the running water. Jumin frowned and moved to take it out but decided against it when he wobbled dangerously._

_“Jaehee! JAE-heeee! Take it out of there! It’ll ruin the leather,” he moaned as he tried to unbutton his shirt. His assistant turned to him and sighed, rushing over to unbutton his shirt for him like a beleaguered mother._

_“And if I leave you to stand in there, you’ll fall and ruin your head. Better to ruin the chair than your life Mr Han,” she explained as she turned to give him privacy as he took of his pants and entered the shower, slumping over the chair. Jaehee sat on the floor outside the bathroom, beside the open door to listen just in case her boss decided to pass out on her. “MR HAN? ARE YOU ALRIGHT IN THERE? SHALL I SEND FOR ONE OF YOUR GUARDS TO ASSIST-“”_

_“NO”_

_“ALRIGHT THEN.”_

_Jumin closed his eyes as he let the water wash away the build-up of sweat and grime from his body. When was the last time he enjoyed bathing? That was easy, the night before MC died. He had hopped into the bath with her and massaged her feet- he could still remember how her stomach would peek out of the water no matter how she sat. Looking at his hands he tried to remember the feel of her skin, the silk of her hair, Taemin’s strong kicks against his palm… it was all fading away from him. Jumin sat forward and looked at the scars that littered his hands and arms, faint random gashes of differing depths and sizes that had almost become a point of pride for him. These were the only things left that told him that his time with MC was real, that it wasn’t some cruel dream his mind had concocted at his greatest time of loneliness, that once his life held meaning._

_Turning off the shower and feeling more awake- and in more pain- than he has in weeks he grabbed at the towels and bathrobes to dry himself up. He looks in the mirror, his usually pale skin was now sickly and dim in pallor, his eyes had sunken in and his cheeks looked almost hollow. He had lost weight and looked like he was almost at death’s door. Running his hand through his damp hair to slick it back just like MC used to love, he set to work on brushing his teeth and taming the stubble on his face. Looking over himself again he sighed and walked out resigned, MC would have killed him for letting himself go this far… he couldn’t risk to lose sight of himself anymore, it wouldn’t be what she would have wanted._

_Walking out of the bathroom past a napping Jaehee he put on MC’s favourite suit (“Jumin! You always wear black, try this grey one- it matches your eyes honey!”) and sat at his desk for the first time in 6 months._

_Opening his drawers to find his planner or at least a pad of paper Jumin happened upon a small, white envelope addressed to him. He couldn’t think of anyone apart from the housekeeper who’d been there and everyone knows not to touch anything **inside** his desk, Looking at it closer… it couldn’t have been… it was MC’s writing. Unable to contain himself he ripped the envelope open with his bare hands, tearing the letter out impatiently. _

_~~To My Dearest~~ _ _Jumin,_

_I… I am writing this to you today, to tell you that I love you. I love you more than you can ever know… but I can’t stay. Today- I found out that you have deceived me again. The worst part is that you don’t even know that what you’ve done is wrong. That it hurts me. That it kills me every time I think of you with someone else… especially now that I know you think it’s what I want from you. All I have ever wanted from you was your love Jumin- that was all I ever wanted for our son too. I truly thought we had a shot at having a real and whole family- but I know now that we can’t._

_I am no longer the woman you married. I’m just a husk of what I once was, and please know, I’m **not** blaming you for this- **this was all my fault**. I lost myself. I lost who I wanted to be. I lost myself in you… and that’s not your fault. I failed you, I failed me._

_But… I can’t let myself fail Taemin and I can’t be a good mother the way I am now. I can’t be a good mother if I stay with you. I need to put our child before me, you or us- so I need to go._

_Please know that I will contact you as soon as I am settled somewhere and my phone will still have the same number as always- I will never keep you from our son. He loves you. Oh, Jumin he loves you so much. I can feel it; every time he hears your voice he wakes up inside me, he’s just so excited to meet you- I just-_

_I can’t do this anymore Jumin. Please try to understand._

_I’m sorry that it came to this. I can only hope one day you will be able to forgive me, just like one day I hope to forgive you._

_I’m sorry. I love you. But I can’t stay,_

_MC._

_Jumin stared at the paper in his hand._

_MC had meant to leave him that day._

_MC was trying to leave him._

_And she did._

_She left him and took his son to a place that he could not follow._

_Dropping the piece of paper like it was poison, Jumin pushed his chair back away from his desk, his shaking hand covering his mouth as if he were about to scream. His heart was racing inside of him as he bit the inside of his mouth trying to control himself, the hand gripping his face so hard his nails cut into the skin._

_He had driven his wife away from him without even knowing it, driven her so far away that she didn’t even want to tell him she was hurting until she broke. The piercing behind his eyes only seemed to get stronger no matter how hard he willed it away. A pain churning in his head but steadily spreading, clouding his thoughts so he couldn’t think, burning his throat so he couldn’t cry out and filling his lungs so he could barely breathe. Pushing his chair further back Jumin put his head between his knees and gulped in as much air as he could, the air coursing through his body like fire. Smacking his head around, once- twice- thrice! Anything to rid him of this heavy headedness that had overpowered him._

_Where was MC going to? She was driving so fast according to the police; she must have had a destination in mind. She took her car so she didn’t want him following her. Did she make a booking at a hotel or… Bolting from his chair Jumin stalked into his bedroom to find MC’s forgotten handbag from the top shelf of his wardrobe and ripped it open, emptying the contents out onto the floor. Flicking away the all the things he deemed unnecessary he focused on two things, her personal daily planner and her phone. Thumbing quickly through the pages as he let his practised eyes scan each page for any pertinent information he found nothing but doctor appointments and catch up lunches with the rest of the R.F.A scheduled throughout the coming months… so she probably wasn’t going to go anywhere international- if he had to guess she was planning to stay at one of their houses until everything blew over._

_Jumin sat back and thought for a moment, he could rule Jaehee out as she was still under his employment and would not want to risk getting black listed from getting another job once he fired her… Zen was out of the country that month so it most likely wouldn’t have been him, besides the media frenzy at her being at his house while still being married to him would not have made it an ideal place to stay… Yoosung would have accidentally told everyone in the group chat and his apartment was not big enough for a woman expecting a baby. Which only left V or Saeyoung… V would never betray him like that but Saeyoung… he was her best friend; they spoke to each other nearly every day. His house was like a nuclear bomb shelter with the highest level of security- if MC didn’t want to be found or disturbed of course she would turn to Saeyoung._

_Why hadn’t he thought of this before? His bespectacled friend was oddly missing from the chats most of the time until last month he said that he’d had enough of Korea for a while and wanted to go travelling to ease his grief- Jumin didn’t think- or care- at the time. It made sense to him. He wanted nothing more than to up and leave and never come back but somehow, he couldn’t bring himself to leave the place they had made a life, a family in. He stopped going into work, he didn’t even go outside unless it was to let Elizabeth the 3 rd out, he can’t even remember the last time he saw someone he didn’t have under his employment. Plugging MC’s phone to her charger he sat with bated breath to see if her phone still worked after the crash, it was pretty banged up and the screen was smashed almost beyond repair. Jumin watched as the screen lit up under his touch and unlock automatically. Letting out a sigh of relief that he could still make out the words on the screen, he scrolled through the messages and noted the last few were to Saeyoung… he could feel his blood pressure rising as he continued to read._

_“Is it done?”_

_“Jumin won’t be able to find me, right?”_

_“I’ll be taking my car.”_

_“I’m leaving in 5 minutes.”_

_Jumin’s lip snarled in mild disgust as he inspected his late wife’s call log, almost every call on the last day of her life was to Saeyoung… even… his wife’s accident happened at 3:45pm, CCTV footage confirmed this… she was talking to him when it happened… he called her at 3:37pm and the phone call ended at 3:46pm._

_Saeyoung had heard her last thoughts. Not him, but Saeyoung._

_An infinite, caustic gurgling of anger bubbled from within him- Jumin had never experienced rage this profound- this clear in all his years. The bastard didn’t even tell him a thing. He was at the funeral and told him nothing, clapped his back and embraced him and nothing, told him that he’d be there for anything, all he needed to do was ask- but nothing!_

_Jumin forced himself to breathe in and out deeply; he was probably jumping to conclusions and thinking too much into this- maybe Saeyoung just wanted to shield his friend whilst she sorted out her thoughts rationally? Maybe he didn’t tell him on purpose because he wanted to spare his feelings? For him to keep on believing that MC left this world still wanting to be with him. Yes. Of course that was it. Saeyoung was his friend. Jumin supressed the doubt that wrangled its way into his brain- ~~No~~. _

_Saeyoung was his friend._

* * *

Saeyoung watched as MC scoffed down her forth piece of chicken and put another heap of vegetables and rice on her plate. Putting down his drumstick, trying his best to keep his mouth shut, he quietly observed his exceedingly hungry wife. MC had always had a big appetite- it was one thing that he really liked about her- she’d have no qualms eating a hearty meal in front of him or the other RFA members and then ask for dessert with a proud smile on her face. She had a healthy appreciation for her food and Saeyoung adored that… but… lately she’d been _starving_. MC would raid the cupboards in the middle of the night and throw whatever she could together, she’d continue snacking throughout the day and still say she was famished by the time dinner would come around, Saeyoung had to wonder if she was compensating for something with the way she was eating.

Pausing with her spoon of rice suspended in mid-air towards her mouth, MC shot him a curious look, “What are you starting at Saeyoung?” she asked wiping at her face in case she had food on it, “-do I have rice stuck to my cheek again? Why didn’t you say something?” she whined still striking away at the non-existent grain. Saeyoung shook his head while a look of amusement began to spread across his face, “No MC, you haven’t got anything on your face… at least this time”

“Geez, have a piece of rice stuck to your face once during a meal-”

“It was a clump of rice”

“And he never lets it go…”

“And it was three times…”

The pair continued to stare at each other until Saeyoung could no longer hold in his sniggering and let out a loud cackle at MC’s indignant look as she continued to shovel food into her mouth, albeit now more reservedly. Saeyoung reached over their small table and took her free hand into his, trailing the skin on the back of her hand with his thumb.

“I don’t mean to embarrass you or shame you into eating less,” he said reproaching himself, “I’m just a little concerned about _where_ it’s going. You’re eating so much and you’re so sleepy all the time that you’re barely doing anything… honestly I would have figured you’d have gained more weight than you have…. But you’re still basically the same.”

MC frowned as she took in all the information her red headed lover laid out before her; it was true she had been consuming so much more food than normal and she was exhausted before noon would hit even though she had done nothing leading up to it. Maybe she was sick? She hadn’t felt this tired or hungry since… since… oh god… no that was impossible…

“MC… you’re not… I mean… you don’t think?” Saeyoung’s cheeks flushed a pale pink hue as he looked over the rims of his glasses at her, his hand tightening around her.

“What? Don’t think what?”  she muttered her eyes large and wide, her hand shaking the rice off the spoon. Saeyoung leant in conspiratorially, drifting his eyes to the left and then to the right before whispering,

“You don’t think… that maybe… you have worms?”

MC flicked her spoon, the remaining granules of rice flying at his face.

“What!? We live on an exotic island it’s possible you know!” he chuckled as he wiped at the pieces of rice stuck in his fringe.

“Shut up…. And if you’re not going to finish eating that chicken you better hand it here” she ordered with her hand out.  Lifting the half-eaten chicken from his plate he made to give it to her but lurched it back out of her grasp at the last second, frustrating his hungry beauty. Tutting as he waggled his index finger at her, effectively holding the cooked poultry ransom until she heard him out, “Uh uh uh- I will give you this delectable chicken- IF”

“If?” she grumbled as she swallowed her last mouthful.

“IF… you agree to go to the doctors with me later today,” he bargained still holding his drumstick away from her reach. MC huffed out a breath of air that pushed up the loose strands over her face as she nodded begrudgingly. Saeyoung felt a weight lifted off himself at her acquiescence, he could hack up a lung and still call it a cold but even something as simple as lethargy and increased appetite was something that concerned him when it came to MC- he wanted her safe, happy and healthy. Always. Smiling good naturedly at the woman sitting opposite him he happily gave her his piece of chicken.

* * *

 

_It had taken the better part of a year but finally Jumin knew everything._

_He had painstakingly found every piece of the puzzle and mapped it out before him. He had hired the best hackers in the world, bribed more people than he cared to admit and threatened even more; but at least he finally knew._

_MC was alive, somewhere out there in the world, she was alive. She had lost their child that much was true- but did that mean she was too scared to come back to him because of that? That she thought he would not be able to forgive her for their child’s death? He had re-read her letter to him over and over and he finally understood why she thought she had to leave, that she was hurting and didn’t know to explain it to the old him. Well, he understood now and he wouldn’t do it again. Ever. He’d never hurt her again. He’d encourage for her to be herself around him like she used to do for him. He’d forgive her anything; her leaving, the lies, for not letting him say goodbye to her… he could do it._

_Jumin replayed the clip that he had worked so hard to procure, the complete footage of the car accident and of her rescue. He knew it was an accident even without seeing it, MC would have never placed herself or their child in that sort of danger on purpose and the video had only confirmed it. What he needed to see was the footage several minutes after the crash- to see Saeyoung’s arrival at the scene as MC was being taken to St. Michael’s hospital… to witness the crimes Saeyoung had committed against his person, all the lies through omissions that he spouted._

_Jumin had tried to call Saeyoung months ago to help him get more information and he had not answered his calls, texts or emails- in fact Saeyoung barely responded to any of the RFA’s attempts to contact him, even V’s, and he was always used to be the first one to jump whenever V wanted anything. All his responses, when they received responses, were vague. That he was in between countries, that he was working a particularly dangerous job and could not be contacted, that he was poisoned and in a coma for a month… Piling on excuse after excuse- it was no wonder that Jumin would become suspicious- and after viewing the CCTV footage that Saeyoung hadn’t managed to wipe clean, he felt vindicated in his distrust. Saeyoung knew where MC was, he must have been hiding her and felt such guilt at his betrayal that he had to leave as well- but Jumin didn’t care. He had to find MC; his anger at Saeyoung could wait, if the man could bring his dead wife back to life he’d forgive him with no contestation._

_Jumin had almost limitless funds to work with, all the connections and contacts he required and all the incentive to never give up finding MC to bring her back with him. He would never stop until she was back in his arms and back at home where she belongs. He would never stop._

 

* * *

“I’m sorry-… what?” Saeyoung blinked as he tried to process the information he was just given. It couldn’t have been right… there was no way…

“I said Mr. Kim that congratulations are in order for you and your wife, she’s over three months pregnant!” the doctor beamed as she clapped her hands together in celebration. “I’ll leave you two be for a few moments and let all this seep in, it’s a bit of a shock I see, but how lovely for you both!” she said excusing herself.

Saeyoung spared a cautionary glance towards MC from the corner of his eyes and sure enough the woman looked as spooked as he felt. All the colour had drained from her face and her breathing had dropped to a shallow intake of air. Leaning forward in her chair and using the edge of the desk to stabilise her, MC let her head hang down and allowed her long hair to shield her face from his view. As hurt as he was that she wasn’t jumping up and down at the thought of having his child he had to remind himself that this was never going to easy for her after losing Taemin, adding to the fact that they hadn’t even brought up the idea of having children in the future. What if she didn’t want children again?

MC’s fingers squeezed at the wood beneath them as soft tremors ran up and down her body, tiny sobs of breath escaping her mouth. Saeyoung pulled his chair closer to hers and let his left-hand rub firmly against her back not only an act of compassion, but of solidarity as well. Whatever she wanted to do, he would try to his best to respect and abide by.

“S-Saeyoung… I’m… I’m so sorry,” she apologised through her tears, one hand curling itself around her middle either in a show of pain or of protection- perhaps both. “I didn’t even think about the chance I could get pregnant… not after… I’m so sorry!” she cried as she spun around to bury her face into his shoulder, her bawls growing louder as he enclosed both his arms around her. Rocking her side to side he waited until her emotions began to even out before speaking again.

“Why are you apologising MC?” he asked, preparing himself for the worst. MC pulled away using the sleeve of her shirt to wipe away at her eyes and cheeks, shaking her head fitfully to reorder her thoughts.  

“Because you deserve to have children with a woman worthy enough to bear children,” she confessed, a new batch of hot tears springing to her eyes. “I lost my child due to my own selfishness and I’m bound to lose this one too just because I deserve it.” Disbelief flooded the ex-hacker at the woman’s words, _she didn’t believe she deserved to have children anymore? That he deserved better?_ Saeyoung bit down on his lip and drew her close again, insuring his mouth was at her ear so she could clearly hear what he needed to say.

“MC, there is no one on this earth that I would want to bear my child other than you,” he declared running one hand over her hair, “there is no one better suited to becoming a mother than you. You didn’t… you didn’t lose Taemin because you were trying to be selfish, you lost Taemin when you were trying to do the most selfless thing you could do to be a good mother for him…”

“But how can I have this baby when my first one is dead because of me?” she whispered, clutching desperately to the collar of his shirt. Taking her hands in his grasp, her fingers automatically loosened and entwined with his.

“It was an accident MC, a tragic accident. You didn’t plan it. You didn’t want it. Taemin would be the first one to want you to be happy MC- he knew how much you loved him, how much you will always love him, I’m sure he wants you to show this baby the love you would have shown him,” he begged her to hear him. He was petrified, after years of recovery and moving forward that they were somehow transported back to yet another hospital room where he was afraid for MC’s mental state. He had prayed so hard for her to get better, to heal…  

“I… I-,” she started as she inhaled deeply trying to clear her blurry, tear soaked eyes, “-I… if you think I can… I want to, I really want to do t-that,” she admitted into his chest. Saeyoung tightened his hold on her crushing her body to his, he never wanted to let go- in his grasp lay his entire world and future and he would do everything in his power to make sure they stayed just as they were at that second. “But I’m scared… if anything happens again…”

“Nothing is going to happen MC,” he soothed as he ran his hands over her only to rest against her womb.

“But _if_ it does,” she insisted, forcing him to look in her in the eye. “If something happens… save them. Save the baby…not me, ok?”

“MC-” he said beginning to dislike the way this conversation was quickly turning,

“ **OK**?!” she insisted, the power of her hands squeezing around his arms enough to leave him bruised. Saeyoung’s eyes softened at the natural maternal instinct MC displayed without even realising it and decided for the sake of calming and reassuring his wife he would concede.

“OK MC,” he nodded trying to pacify her.

“Promise me!” she yelped shaking him a couple of times, “Promise me Saeyoung.”

Bringing her hands in his and placing kisses on her open palms before levelling his honey tinted eyes to hers, “I promise MC. I promise to save our child above your life. Above my own life. Above all- I promise that both _you_ _and this child_ will be fine. We will live a long and happy life together, I promise.” MC’s eyes once again became bright with tears but for the first time that day there was a glimmer of hope shining back at him.

The door swung back open with the doctor coming back in carrying an array of pamphlets for them to read over their own time and started to discuss all the differing options MC had to give birth to their baby, her diet and whatnot but Saeyoung couldn’t focus- all he could see was MC carrying all his hopes and dreams in one perfect package.

He promised to himself that both MC and his child would always be safe and happy no matter the cost. When MC reached out and clasped his hand and let a small smile adorn her face before turning back to listen to the doctor, he knew with unyielding certainty- _no matter the cost_.

* * *

 

_Jumin had just closed his eyes when an incessant buzzing filled his ears. Opening one eye he peered over to his side table to see his phone flashing and vibrating across the smooth glass surface. Picking it up he opened both eyes, wincing slightly at the bright screen and read the name that appeared- what could V want with him at this time of the night?_

_“V- It’s the middle of the night-”_

_“Jumin-”_

_He could hear the ripple of emotion that rang through is best friend’s voice causing him to sit up in alarm. The last time he had called him up in the middle of the night was when he had first lost his sight, whatever caused this surprise call must have been truly awful._

_“V… what’s wrong?”_

_“I… she… she’s alive…”_

_A profound silence stretched out between the two friends as Jumin’s mind fired with a thousand questions- one leading to another with no resolution in sight- until he finally came to his senses, “Are you… are you sure… I… Where? How?”_

_Are you sure it’s really her?_

_“Yes Jumin I would know her face anywhere- but Jumin… Jumin she’s not alone” he warned, trying to prepare his friend for more heartbreak. “She’s… she’s moved on.”_

_Jumin was afraid of this- that if given enough time his wife would forget about everything they’d shared and leave him, easily finding someone else to replace him, unlike him- he still wanted her back. He didn’t care what he had to do or who stood in his way. The raven-haired director gritted his teeth and wound his free hand into the sheets, seizing at them so tightly his knuckles had turned white as he snarled, “Who?”_

_His heart was thundering against his chest._

_Don’t say it. Don’t say **his** name. Please. Anyone else. Let it be anyone else._

_V closed his eyes and sighed deeply knowing that answering this question was signing the man’s death warrant._

_“It’s Saeyoung, Jumin. She’s with Saeyoung now.”_

_Jumin’s mind had instantaneously cleared itself of all extraneous thought. It now had one, singular purpose- the undying need to find satisfaction. He could almost taste what he wanted. He wanted blood. He wanted vengeance. Justice._

_V could hear the ragged, uneven breathing and the muffled roars of fury on the other end of the phone and could only imagine what crazed look his friend had upon his face, what destruction lay on the other side of the world._

_“Where V- Where are they?” he demanded, his rage palpable through the phone as he tore through his bedroom trying to conquer the craze taking over him. Sheets torn and upturned, mirrors smashed into fine glossy powders and holes splattered along the walls._

_“Maybe you should just let them be Jumin- they look happy and-” V tried to dissuade him, to save their former friends as best he could…_

_Jumin finally stilled in the middle of his room amidst the chaos and destruction he had caused, it felt good. He wanted more. He wanted MC back. He wanted Saeyoung to suffer._

_**“** … **Never**.”_

* * *

V remained seated at his vantage point, the happy couple making their way to him leisurely as if they had all the time in the world. V bit the end of his thumb as regret flooded him- he should have talked to them first, let them know what was going to happen; but by now Jumin would be driving to his airport hangar and taking off as fast as he was able to- they didn’t have much time. They were getting so close he could hear them talking and the chimes of their laughter- and god he wanted them to be happy- but… didn’t Jumin deserve that too?

Standing up so the couple would realise they weren’t alone anymore, V watched as Saeyoung unconsciously shielded MC from what he assumed was a stranger. His lips twitched into a small smile- at the very least their love was real.

“V?” the red head uttered softly, unbelieving that someone from their past had come to meet them there of all places. “V… what… what are you doing here?” he asked trying to cover up MC as best her could in case the taller male still hadn’t seen her. V cautiously ambled towards them to show he held no ill will for them, that he only wanted to talk but Saeyoung’s body remained rigid and prepared, ready to react to whatever came towards him and MC.

“Relax Saeyoung I’m not here to hurt you, I didn’t even mean to find you- I was here just trying to take some beautiful photos,” he explained as he waved to his gear behind him, still sprawled out all over the sand though Saeyoung still looked thoroughly unconvinced. “Then I happened to take a spectacular photo of a couple walking along the beach- obviously in love… and very obviously completely unaware of the chaos they have created.” V watched as Saeyoung’s guarded expression rapidly turned to anger as he stepped forward to meet him.

“And what would ‘Good Ol’ V’ know about just up and disappearing and leaving others to clean up your mess? Just about fucking _everything_ because you wrote the god damned book on irresponsible flights of fancy and fucked up messes!” he derided as he pushed V back towards this photography equipment. “You don’t get to come waltzing over here and tell _me_ what I did wrong when you’re no better!”

V hung his head in a well-rehearsed bow of shame- he knew all of these things were true and he deserved to hear them, however that also meant he knew better than anyone the weight the repercussions would have on themselves and to the rest of the RFA.  Grabbing a surprised Saeyoung by the shoulders and bringing him less than an arm’s length away from himself, V began to speak.

“Saeyoung- what you and MC did… it’s just as bad what I did after Rika died. I left you guys needing me and I explained nothing to any of you. You were all left in the dark and I could have helped you but in my… cowardice… I let you all wander aimlessly. I left you to deal with the hacker and the bomb and… god so many, many things that none of you deserved… but don’t you think that making Jumin believe that MC had died just so you two could go away and be together-” he was silenced by a solid punch to his mouth by no other than the woman in question. Her shoulders heaving from the effort and the rush of adrenaline coursing through her veins, she drew her foot back and kicked up some of the wet sand towards to the downed man.

“Don’t you talk about things you know nothing about you _gigantic- fucking- idiot_!” she screamed, her eyes brimming with tears. “We didn’t do all this just to go and be with each other. _I_ was never unfaithful to Jumin! Maybe you should ask _him_ why I left in the first place!” she cried as the tears fell freely from her eyes, her cheeks flushed red with exasperation. “Go ask your friend… why I left…” she whimpered as she broke down completely sinking to the ground beside him.

V’s sugar spun heart melted at seeing his once dear friend break in front of him, he hadn’t meant for this meeting to be a confrontation or bestow any judgement upon them- he had meant to warn them. Stretching his long arms around her shaking frame, he placed a mollifying kiss on the crown of her head as he hushed her with calming noises. He looked up at Saeyoung who looked ready to kill him for making his partner cry but held himself back for what he could only assume was for MC’s sake.

“I apologise MC- it seems there must be more to this story than I knew-”

_“_ Oh you think?!” Saeyoung snorted as he crossed his arms in front of him, his eyes still focused on the crying woman in V’s arms. V rolled his eyes in vexation- they did not have much time…

“Guys! I’m not here to upset you or make you feel bad, I’m coming to you now because… Jumin is on his way,” V confessed, bracing for another punch. Cracking his eyes open he saw Saeyoung turn pale and felt MC go stiff in his arms, barely breathing. “I… I called him… and in retrospect a tremendously foolish thing to do without speaking to you… but he’s coming. If you need to run- you can try to escape him. Hide. Do whatever you need to do.”

MC squirmed in his grip and he released her, tilting his chin down to look into her face.

“I’m not going to run V, I am not going to hide- this… you were right to call him. You did the right thing, it’s time to set things right” MC stated a stoic look of determination settling over her face. Saeyoung lunged forward and brought her to her feet and started to drag her along the shore line back to their house.  
  
“No MC- we need to go! There’s no way that Jumin is going to let either of us go for what we did. We need to hide- now!” he ordered as he yanked hard on her arm causing her to wince under the strain. Pulling back roughly so her hand broke free of his grasp, MC took a few steps backwards to V as she shook her head, a deep frown marring her face.

“I can’t run anymore even if I wanted to Saeyoung. Our baby… they deserve a stable life, a happy life… they can’t have that if they’re always looking over their shoulder for some mysterious man threatening them from the shadows for their entire life! I won’t do that to them,” she swore as she closed her fist above her heart. Saeyoung halted for a moment as he looked at the MC; remembering that this was Jumin Han they were talking about, the man who would have destroyed cities to find his lost cat, what would he do to find his lost wife? Although, MC wanted to try to reason with the man and there was no one who he used to listened more to than MC, she may be able to pull it off.

Forcing his legs to move, he kept walking until he was a breath away from her. Slinking down to meet her lips he gave her a sweet kiss to admit his defeat. “Ok MC- you win- like always. We meet with Jumin.”

“No.”

“What?!” he sputtered as he released her to see if she’d gone insane, she continued to look up at him with an unyielding resolve flashing in her eyes.

“I said no, Saeyoung, _we_ won’t meet with Jumin, _I_ will meet with Jumin. Alone.”

A great font of unease welled up within the pit of his stomach at her words, images blinking before his eyes; MC talking to Jumin, Jumin taking her into his arms, telling her that they’d raise _his_ baby together- that all was forgiven but she’d just have to come back to him. She’d forget about him, raise that baby as theirs and Saeyoung would be nothing but the idiot that got in the way…

“MC… I don’t know if that’s the best idea…” he began trying to hide the fear from his voice as his hands roamed the expanse of her stomach, his heart fluttering when he felt a tiny kick against his palm. “He might not be in the best frame of mind- I don’t want you hurt, I don’t want our baby hurt…”

MC scoffed at his rants and touched his cheek tenderly trying to ease him and his worries. “Jumin is a lot of things ‘Young, but he would never physically hurt a pregnant woman… even if she did crush his entire being,” she added as an afterthought, only increasing her lover’s anxieties. “I need to do this- there is a lot that needs to be said and… he needs to hear it from me without you there distracting him from the real issues. But- you need to see him eventually once he understands everything. We need to ask for forgiveness too Saeyoung,” MC surmised as she splayed her fingers over his, relishing the feeling of having their little family together.  “If you come along with me- he’ll kill you. I will not watch you die Saeyoung. Let me do this for us, please.”

Ever the dutiful husband he reluctantly agreed with her and enveloped her into a fierce embrace, breathing in her scent and the clean smell of the salt from the sea. His chest felt hallow and ached at the thought of MC protecting him and not the other way around; but MC believed she could talk the man down, sway him to their side and he had to have faith in MC didn’t he? No matter what his instincts were telling him… right?

Turning his gaze to the other man still sitting there he observed the downturn of his mouth, the little worry creases at the sides of his eyes and how the slope of his shoulders receded further towards the ground. V was sad … V was- scared … for them.

Saeyoung held on tighter to the woman he cherished more his own life and prayed silently to the God who until 10 minutes ago, he believed loved him and wanted him happy.

_Please Lord- don’t take them from me now… we just found each other… I’ll do whatever it takes to keep them safe, so please, please don’t take them from me. They’re all I have._

* * *

Jumin turned on his phone just after his plane landed on the tarmac and was shocked to see what he assumed was a local number with a dozen missed calls and two text messages.

_“Jumin, this is MC. This is my number call me when you get in.”_

_“Jumin, I’m at the only hotel on the island, room number 4. I thought it best if only you and I talked.”_

_Well there went my element of surprise, thanks V,_ he groused as his fingers quickly worked over the screen of his phone to reply to his estranged wife, as he briskly walked over to the waiting car,

“ _Just landed. Will be able to meet you in less than 30 minutes. There is much to discuss.”_

Jumin’s heart was in his throat and he wanted nothing more than to expel it from himself and turn to stone, his emotions too strong for him to handle, too many for him to contain. He wanted to be calm and rational, to hear out MC and her reasons and her regrets and in turn present his case and his heartfelt apology. Although all he could think of was MC.

MC was alive and in the same country as he was.

~~MC was alive and in love with one of his best friends.~~

MC was alive and waiting for him.

MC… he could still remember her the last day he saw her. Her hair a dishevelled mess, her cheeks rosy with her pregnancy glow and her eyes bursting with tears. A foul taste formed on his tongue at the last memory but he refocused- this was a new day, a brand-new chance. It was their time to move on from the past and build a new future; he knew in his soul that he and MC could do it, they could have their family back.

Opening the car door as soon as they pulled into the parking lot, Jumin couldn’t help but sneer at the budget lodging MC had decided to meet at. Surely this wasn’t where she and _~~Sae~~_ \- that man chose to live? An irrational wave of annoyance brushed over him at the idea this his wife had been subjected to poor living conditions. Visions of her eating only packets of chips and guzzling down cheap caffeinated drinks from vile cans, the fine skin of her hands destroyed by having to cook and clean after that man, MC wearing rags as that was all he could afford- it all made his stomach lurch violently. This was not how things were meant to happen.

Walking across the concrete of the carpark he could hear another pair of footsteps, much faster and urgent to be a mere echo of his own. Whipping around he found himself face to face with the one person he never wanted to see again. That shocking red hair, those ridiculous glasses and a gaudy cross around his neck, as if God could save him now.

Jumin’s jaw ticked dangerously as he fought against himself, he came here to see MC, not to talk to this traitorous piece of shit- so he slowly turned on his heel as if he had seen nothing at all and continued to proceed to room number 4.

“Jumin! Jumin Han!” the little turncoat called out after him. Jumin clenched his fist and kept walking- only to be stopped by yet another call of his name. Like the rat bastard had any right to speak to him let alone utter his name. “Jumin! Stop!”

“WHY?” he roared back his arms out wide to the sides, inviting the younger man to do something, anything. “Why should I wait for you?! Who are you to me but some filthy stranger who dared look in my house, upon things above your being and desire what was never yours to begin with?” he hissed, his steel eyes narrowing to menacing slits. “Who are you to me now? But trash that needs to be disposed of,” he jeered as he bared his teeth to him.

Saeyoung swallowed his pride and put up both hands in an attempt to show him he meant to only talk, that he was unarmed and that they were both on an even footing. “Fine. I’m trash. I’m filthy. I’m a stranger. I probably am all those things- but please don’t do whatever it is you’re planning,” he begged, his amber eyes boring into Jumin’s ashen ones, imploring him to do the right thing. Jumin stepped back to assess his rival, he looked pathetic to him in that moment; to come begging to your girlfriend’s husband to let him keep her like she was just a toy he favoured. MC WAS HIS WIFE! And _he_ kept them apart. A growl tore through Jumin’s throat as he lunged forward and struck the unprepared redhead to the ground. Again and again, his fists pummelled against his face, cutting open gashes to his forehead and cheek, loosening teeth and splintering bones… he didn’t care. This wasn’t enough, he still didn’t understand true pain. Not until he took MC away from him. Then he would know, then he would understand.

Jumin picked up Saeyoung from his collar and sneered down at him like he was just a bug for him to squash underfoot, looking into his hazy eyes before slamming his fist across his nose again, a satisfying crunch resounding in the air and a heavy spurt of crimson painted the ground beneath them. Saeyoung ripped off his glasses which were now broken beyond repair and forced his eyes to focus around the pain, around the blood seeping down his face and through the searing anger flowing through him. He happened upon Jumin in the wrong state, wired and jittery; just another scared animal trying to defend itself and what he perceived was his. But it wasn’t Jumin’s to protect anymore, it was his. Getting to his feet he spun back around and cracked his fist against the bottom of Jumin’s jaw, his head falling back viciously as he stumbled back in pain.

“Enough of this Jumin! We don’t need to do this!” he pleaded as he stepped back trying to increase the distance between him and his former friend. The ebony haired director planted both feel firmly in place as he willed the stars that formed before his eyes to disappear.

“I… beg to differ _Luciel_ … I feel as if we’re only getting started,” he snarled ominously as he ran forward and brutishly kicked at Saeyoung’s knee, bending the joint backwards and causing a distinct snapping noise to ring out. Saeyoung fell to the ground screaming and clutching at his damaged appendage. “I had thought to look for you later after I took MC back home, _my home, OUR home Luciel_. Once I had her nice and settled and happy- I thought I would expand my resources to find you and then I would take my time figuring out what I would do with you… except now I realise… I just want you gone.”

Saeyoung’s eyes widened as he watched Jumin reach behind his jacket to pull out a handgun and pointed it at him. Although he could see his hands were shaking, at this range there was no way he could miss, no way to escape this. He was going to die.

“Jumin… please… you lost your wife… you lost your child… You cannot have mine,” he cried, uncaring that the armed man could see his tears. Jumin bared his teeth again in a terrifying grin, steadying his arm and aiming directly for the point between Saeyoung’s eyes.

“YOU! Ha ha ha… _You stole my wife!_ … but even so… I have come back to claim what is rightfully mine,” he cackled clearly losing grip of logic and clarity and resorting to pure animalistic drive.

“She is her own person Jumin! You can’t own her; you can’t control her!”

“You are nothing but a lying thief!” he thundered as his hands began to shake uncontrollably, his finger squeezing the trigger. Letting one shot fire, he missed and only grazed his arm and though his screams of pain were somewhat satisfying, it was not enough. He could do this. Jumin could do this- he wanted to. The man before him used to be someone he trusted, someone he thought of as a little brother, a friend. He would have laid down his life if it meant that he could have been safe, _anything for a friend_ , but he was not friend. Not this man. He was a betrayer. A thief. The worst of fallen angels, Lucifer incarnate- Luciel himself. He deserved to die.

“Ju…-Jumin?”

Hearing the one voice he once believed he would never hear again until entering the afterlife, Jumin paused, spinning his entire body around to view this apparition.

She was just how he remembered her. Glowing. Beautiful. _Pregnant_. Jumin batted away visions of her in their bed with him as he would shower her growing stomach with kisses, the stories he would read to his son while he slumbered in his mother’s womb… the final present that he had so licentiously destroyed. This was not how things were meant to happen. He pulled the trigger.

* * *

 

MC turned down the TV in her room, it was already 15 minutes later than Jumin said he would be and the many things that man was- he was never late. She pushed herself off the cheap hotel bed and brushed over her appearance. God she was nervous. She felt sick to her stomach, what was she supposed to say? _“Oh hey Jumin I’m alive, I faked my death because I was super bitter about the whole cheating thing. Your baby died in the cross fire and I then fled the country with one of your best friends and we’re now expecting our first child. So… how’s Elizabeth the third?”_

Pacing back and forth she bit at the nail of her thumb and then reached for the TV’s remote again wanting to mute the stupid show for being too loud- except she quickly realised she was watching a cooking show and she could hear muffled yelling and sounds of violence. Tearing the door open she made her way out to the balcony to see the men she loved more than anything beating each other to a pulp. MC stood frozen at the sight of Saeyoung’s bloodied face, Jumin’s blossoming bruise and cut up knuckles… then he pulled out the gun. Jumin had fired a warning shot into his arm…  

_“I will not watch you die…”_

MC rushed out of the room and down the stairs as fast as she could, cradling her heavy stomach as best as she could. Her feet pounded against the pavement to make it in time, please don’t let her be too late…

“Ju…-Jumin?” she breathed out, barely able to utter above a whisper. She watched as his shoulders stiffened as he turned to face her, the gun now aimed at her. Her eyes taking in his every detail- darkened eye bags from years of not sleeping, a gaunt frame from years of not eating, a trembling mouth from years of crying silently into his pillow… they had done this to him. Her once beautiful Jumin reduced to a ghoul, a sad imitation of himself.      

She had heard the noise before she realised what happened. MC looked down to her pale cream dress and couldn’t remember if the dark red patch was always a part of the design… but then the patch continued to spread over her breast and down her ribs…

Then suddenly she was grasping for breath, entreating for the air to stay in her lungs. The sky flew up before her as she fell hard on her knees and then to her side, her eyes filled with strands of her hair and the dark concrete of the ground. She hurt, the pain pulsing through her like her own heartbeat… like the blood that flowed from of her…

She looked around to see Saeyoung’s face distort into a look of pure horror as he released the most chilling noise she had ever heard. A mixture of a scream, a howl and a curse, she could hear his heart. Ignoring the pain, he scrambled over to her, falling over his ruined leg a few times before he gathered her up in his arms, disregarding the searing pain that shot up one injured limb and tried to assess the damage to her person.

“…It’s going to be ok… the exit wound is clean… small hole… lots of blood… stay with me…. MC!” she could barely make out what he was saying, it was hard to hear him over her own rattling breaths.

“MC… please….” Saeyoung prayed… “Keep your eyes open… try to breathe slower… MC DON’T YOU DARE LEAVE ME! HELP ME!” he cried as panic began to engulf him, his hands trembling against both sides of her body, trying to keep the air out and her blood in.

MC could feel her limbs feeling heavier and lighter at the same time, the only thing constant was the pressure from her beloved’s hands desperately clinging to her. She looked over to Jumin, who was quickly realising what he had done. It was as if he was in a bad dream and he was waking up to find that he had been sleep walking. He dropped the gun and didn’t know whether to reach out for her, to stay still or to pick up the gun and use it on himself. MC reached out to Jumin, his eyes peeled open and scared as he took a few steps towards her prone form. 

“Ju- min… I’m…s-so-rry…” she rasped with great difficulty as air refused to return to her body. Her slowly darkening eyes could see him crumble upon himself as he fell to the ground on all fours and start crying and thrashing at the ground, ripping the skin of his hands further. MC carefully turned her sights onto her weeping husband, trying his best to hold on to her and her life… her still beating heart breaking for the last time. He was so broken for so long; she had hoped that in their time together that she was able to heal even a little part of him, that she would be a fond memory in his life and not the darkest nightmare he clung to. “Sae-Sae..you…. Forgive… him” she asked of him and watched as he let out a bitter laugh but nodded nonetheless, she knew he couldn’t deny a dying woman her last wishes. “Your… prom-ise… Save… them,” she wheezed, her time was short now, she had to make these words count.

“Sae-young… I… I.. Lo-”

The darkness had won.

She felt no pain.

* * *

_He could fix this. He could. She probably just had a punctured lung, her breathing was the only thing being affected… the wound was clean and small… hopefully it didn’t tear anything but her lungs and didn’t shatter any bones when it came through… he could fix this!_

_“Sae-young… I… I… Lo-”_

_And then she was gone. No matter how hard he shook her awake, how far he dug his fingers into her wound to cause her pain- she didn’t respond. Saeyoung felt dizzy, he felt sick, he felt spent and he felt so, so empty. He had nothing more to give. He had nothing left. He was alone._

_He looked up and saw Jumin screaming into the ground, crying like some lost, pathetic child in a supermarket looking for his mother. Fuck him. Damn him. Curse his god-forsaken mother for ever bringing him into the world in the first place. Dragging himself over to him, Saeyoung threw himself onto the larger male and began pummelling into his face, his neck, his chest- anywhere he could reach. Jumin was coughing up blood and his own hands were battered but to no avail- MC was still gone… what was the point?_

_Saeyoung sat back on Jumin’s stomach, not caring that his weight made it difficult for the other to breathe. Looking over listlessly at MC’s corpse he could feel whatever was left of his soul shatter as his eyes filled up with tears that never seemed to end or dry. This was it now, this was going to be his life. Would MC hate him if he decided to follow her right now?_

_Jumin, barely conscious reached into his breast pocket and pulled something out and pushed it into Saeyoung’s face. He didn’t even care if it was another gun, in fact he welcomed it. Though it was soft and smooth against his skin, hardly the material for a killer firearm._

_It was his hankerchief._

_Jumin smiled mirthlessly up at Saeyoung, at his tears and his heartbreak._

_“That… that is what I wanted to see… that is justice” he declared, his teeth speckled with red by his own blood._

_“You fucking- hateful- bastard!” Saeyoung howled as he punched Jumin in the stomach again resulting in a mellifluous groan of pain and wheezing gulps of air._

_“The pain Saeyoung!” Jumin panted before he could continue thrashing him, “THE PAIN!”_

_“YES I UNDERSTAND!” he screamed his tears falling over Jumin’s face and expensive suit._

_“No you don’t!” the older man avowed. “The pain of your wife dying without being able to do anything about it! The pain of knowing it could have been prevented. The pain of never meeting your unborn child. YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND IT LIKE I DO! Not until you’ve lived with it, breathed it in and have eaten it for every single day of your life. Do it for three years, alone, sustain it- and then come back to me… and then I will tell you to do it for another three- and so on and so forth because you will **never** understand what you took from me Saeyoung!” Jumin wept underneath him, his hands gripping at the red head’s jacket. _

_Saeyoung slapped his hands off of him and fell beside Jumin, both men spent and sobbing on the ground. Beaten and bruised and broken, both men silently reached an accord- it had just taken the death of the woman they both loved to get them to understand each other. A minute or an eternity passed by before Jumin jolted up and looked back at MC, scrambling to his feet he ran to her and placed his hand over her unmoving stomach._

_“Saeyoung! It’s not too late!”_

_“She’s gone Jumin…” he wearily replied as he swiped at his brow, uncaring if it was blood or sweat._

_“Your baby Saeyoung! It’s not too late for your child! Quickly! We need to find something to cut her ope-“_

_“Don’t you touch my wife Jumin!” Saeyoung growled as he rushed over to her and covered her body with his own. “She… she made me promise…” Jumin reached over and urgently slapped the red head, “Then be the man she believed you were and live up to it!”_

_Saeyoung’s hand shook as it reached into his front jeans pocket and pulled out a hefty switchblade, but as he unfolded the blade and pushed MC’s skirts up he retched miserably over to the side… he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t cut MC open. Another promise he couldn’t fulfil… and it would cost him the lives of everything precious to him. Grunting with impatience but wearing an expression of true empathy, Jumin wrenched the knife from Saeyoung’s frozen hand._

_“… One of our children should survive all this Saeyoung…”_

_Nodding as more tears stung at his eyes, Saeyoung picked up MC’s lifeless hand to his lips and gingerly pressed kisses to the back of it. “Th-thank you, Jumin.”_

_He focused on the smile MC would grace him with every morning as they woke up lazily in bed, he recalled the feeling of her tender touches against his brow when she thought he was already asleep- her voice whispering I love you before she closed her eyes every night… her voice singing lullabies to their unborn child when they tousled about too much; never angry or annoyed at the babe for disturbing her or hurting her…_

_“…Saeyoung!” he distantly registered his name being called “SAEYOUNG!”_

“ **SAEYOUNG**!”

* * *

_Breathing hurt… why did breathing hurt? Eyes are so heavy, I can barely open them…_

Slowly blinking the haze away as it took time to refocus on the blurry room…

Suddenly consciousness returned at the feeling of something solid lodging down their throat- choking back the gagging sensation that flooded their body as they sluggishly ripped out the tubes from their mouth and nose, taking in the first gulp of air without the aid of the ventilator.

_Jumin?_

_Is that… Jumin?_

_He had cuts and bruises all over his face… but that was definitely him._

Jumin sat with his legs crossed and his hands folded in his lap, his chin to his chest as he dozed peacefully in the corner of a… hospital room? Willing tired and aching limbs to move, a pained noise escaping as their body rose to sit. Jumin’s eyes opened in an instant as his attention flashed directly to the battered body in the hospital bed, he moved to stand but halted when a hand gestured for him to stop before ultimately resting on the guard rails.

“Do you know where you are?” his even baritone sailed through the air as he rested his elbows on his now uncrossed legs, leaning forward to inspect her every movement.

“No,” she responded, her voice dry and worn as if she hadn’t used it in a while, clearing her throat and coughing as she did- surprised at how raw and rattling her chest felt. “Ju-”

“I shot you,” he stated so blankly that she froze in her spot, unblinking. He stood up buttoning his now rather wrinkled jacket and smoothed both hands over the front in an attempt to ease the slept-in creases. “Do you remember that? What happened?” he questioned patiently as he stood at the foot of the bed, observing her with sympathetic eyes.

She remembered V… a motel room… she was running, she was running towards him… Saeyoung was covered in blood and he was screaming something at her… or was she screaming?… the blooming red blood stain that spread across her ribs and chest… her last reminder to Saeyoung about their…

MC’s mouth opened slightly at the last recalled memory- she begged Saeyoung to save their baby but she was still alive…? Moving the blankets away from her body carefully she let her hands travel around feeling her now noticeably flatter stomach and a very new, tender stitched up scar across her abdomen… and her heart fell away. Deep, racking sobs shook her body as she fell upon herself, ignoring the burning in her chest. MC fell to her side, her trembling fingers wrapped in her flimsy hospital gown desperate for something to cling to. Not again, _not again_.

Her hands fell back to cradle her stomach trying to remember the shape and curve of the second child lost to her… yet another innocent life stolen… she didn’t even get to say goodbye this time… swallowing shuddering gasps of breath MC buried her head amongst the covers trying frantically to catch the ground that was falling beneath her. She wasn’t strong enough to do this again. She didn’t want to get back up, she couldn’t.

Two strong arms wound themselves against her and repositioned her to prop her against the pillows, hands running up and down her arms as he tried to calm her down.

“MC… MC listen to me,” he ground out firmly causing the desolate woman to look up at him. “I shot you. You are alive. Saeyoung is alive. _Your daughter is alive_. Do not despair,” he said as he smiled weakly. Even after all they had been through, been put through, seeing the woman he loved in tears was enough to evoke the same in him. Coughing awkwardly to mask his emotion he stood up from the bed and resumed his position at the end of the bed, not wanting to over step his boundaries.

MC sat stationary for a minute before registering what Jumin had said; they were all alive? All of them?! A daughter? A mild euphoria streamed through her body as she clumsily fell off the bed and started stumbling about to find them, her legs still not cooperating as they should. Rushing to her side to force her to sit down and rest Jumin noticed the flourish of red that splayed across her chest and abdomen, in her haste she had torn some of her stiches open.

“MC please keep still-” Jumin protested, his hands doing their best to hold the woman at bay. MC kicked and clawed at the obstacle in front of her that kept her from her child and husband. “Please MC you’re only hurting yourself, you’re re-opening your wounds!”

“I don’t care!” she wailed her nails digging into the layers of his skin as he still restricted her. “My baby! I need my baby! Give me my baby!” MC tried her best to move against the stronger male above her but only ended up hissing in pain as more sutures popped open. Jumin slammed his hand over the button to call the nurses, openly panicking now that more blood was seeping out of her and started to bellow out as loud as he could, “Saeyoung! Saeyoung! **SAEYOUNG**!”

 

* * *

“ **SAEYOUNG!”**

The ex-hacker jumped out of the seat he had fallen asleep on, his heart racing from the distorted events that had plagued his dreams. Stretching his stiff joints, he made his way over to the small basinet with the name “KIM, BABY GIRL”. Saeyoung didn’t care that the horrible fluorescent lights of the room hurt his eyes or that the smell of disinfectant permeated the air around him- all he saw was a miracle sleeping contentedly, completely unaware of the turmoil that she was brought into the world by. Bringing up the delicate bundle he gently nosed at her hair and breathed in her scent, reciting it to memory. She was his new world now.

Picking her up with a practised ease he cuddled her to his chest and quickly ushered himself back into MC’s room down the hall to where Jumin was screaming his head off- maybe MC had finally woken up, it had been just over two days after her surgery after all… the doctors had said her body had gone through a lot of trauma with suffering from a collapsed lung and then an emergency caesarean… it may take a day or two for her body and mind to recover from the massive shock.

Standing at the doorway Saeyoung watched on as Jumin tried his best to placate the hysterical woman on the floor screaming to see her child. The smile that had formed swiftly vanishing at the sight of the injuries that her tenacity had caused her.

“MC!” he yelled over their combined noise, quieting the woman immediately, he observed a myriad of emotions pass over her face as she looked at him and then the fragile, pink bundle he held in his arms. “She’s here, she’s been waiting for you.”

Bending down to the frenzied woman, who was nothing but arms as she scampered to reach for her child. As he carefully let go and sat back to watch his wife and daughter interact for the first time he felt an unnatural awe as a peace washed over MC, calming the woman instantaneously. Looking over to Jumin who seemed to understand what the red-head was thinking, scooped MC up in his arms as Saeyoung steadied them and secured their new born and placed them gently on the bed.

“MC… we need to get those stitches looked at” Saeyoung lightly reprimanded but the woman wasn’t listening, just nodding to whatever was said to her. “Just for the moment you need to give her to me while the nurses and doctors do what they need to-”

“No”

“Please MC be logical,” Jumin attempted to intercede,

“ **NO**.”    

“MC… please… get yourself patched up so that you never have to let go of our daughter again,” Saeyoung whispered, staring imploringly at her. The woman sighed as a frown marred her face, she had just started to hold the most beautiful child she had ever laid her eyes upon and already she was forced to give her up.  Agreeing grudgingly, she handed the infant to her father’s awaiting arms and let the hospital staff do as was needed, her eyes never leaving her husband’s heavily beaten face and their daughter’s innocent perfection. As flawed as everything was- MC was finally happy that their family was together and whole.

After the attending doctors (yes _doctors_ , Jumin had paid for more than four doctors to insure MC and her child’s full recovery) had vehemently insisted that MC do nothing strenuous until they tell her otherwise, MC was happily rocking her baby back and forth, marvelling at the depth of her amber eyes as she peered back up at her- ignoring the two men in the room watching her with rapt attention.

Saeyoung took a step towards Jumin to stand by his side, the taller man taking his eyes off MC for a moment to dart to where he stood, acknowledging his presence. Dipping his head slightly as he adjusted his tie he made some poor excuse to leave the family to their own devices before being stopped by Saeyoung’s hand on his arm.

Jumin paused, his eyebrow quirking upwards in a surprised question as he turned around to face the red head. “Is there something I can help you with Saeyoung?” he asked timidly, not wanting to ruin the bonding moment between MC and her daughter. Saeyoung shook his head and bit at his bottom lip, trying to think of the best way to deliver what he had to say to his old friend.    

Squeezing the hand that still rested against his bicep Saeyoung released a shaky sigh of relief, “Jumin… I … I’m sorry.” Jumin’s stormy eyes widened, absolutely confounded as to why he was being apologised to.

“I don’t understand what for?”

“I understand now. Better than ever what you must have been through. Losing MC, losing your son… I lost my family for less than five minutes and I had never prayed so hard for the Lord to take my life- I can’t imagine what you have endured all this time.”

Jumin took a step back to assess what he was saying, scanning the statement for any sarcasm or deceit- he couldn’t find a drop.

“I… I froze the moment MC stopped breathing. My world was gone, ended before my eyes and I was powerless to stop it. My baby was dying inside her and I couldn’t muster the strength to save them- even after I had taken out my failures on you- you reminded me that they could be saved. I… if your crew of doctors weren’t there…”

Jumin rotated his shoulders in an attempt to shake off the awkwardness he felt at Saeyoung’s heartfelt words. Scratching the back of his neck and looking to the side beside his feet Jumin tried to shrug off the accolades, “It was… nothing. I- I brought them along on this trip because I thought it was impudent to believe that I was going to get out of this incident completely unscathed… I had never… never in a million years did I want MC to suffer as she has… and never at my hand.” The raven-haired director ashamed at his actions, mentally scourged himself for nearly murdering the love of his life and her child- even if she did own part of the original sin. “I love her Saeyoung,” Jumin rasped as his voice cracked under the strain of the emotion he so hoped to contain.  

Saeyoung concealed his growing jealousy and nodded,“I know you do.”

“I’ll probably always love her,” he continued turning his gaze onto the new mother and child, his eyes expressing the longing he felt so entirely.

“So will I,” the younger of the two men was quick to quip, following his line of sight. This was his family and he would fight to protect it, no hesitation, no regrets.

“I’ll probably never quite forgive you though… either of you…” he added sadly, a small smile forming on his lips as he watched MC scatter kisses all over the babe’s face. Saeyoung letting out a laugh when the baby decided to drool on MC’s shoulder when she brought her up for another hug.

“And I’ll never forgive you for trying to killing her.”

“Fair enough,” Jumin laughed humourlessly through his nose conceding his point.

“…But I gotta know… why did you pull the trigger?” Saeyoung asked as an afterthought, not quite able to align the idea that the man in front of him could profess everlasting love and commit manslaughter with the same person in mind. Jumin shuffled uncomfortably on his feet and eyed the door wistfully, hoping to make a hasty exit but Saeyoung wouldn’t have it. “In all seriousness, one day she’s gonna turn to me and ask me if you truly hated her that much that you wanted to kill her on sight… and all I’m going to have to go on, is that yes, you did. Is that what you want me to tell her?” he chafed at the man’s lack of answer. Running a hand through his ever-tousled hair Jumin sighed and pursed his lips before answering the question.

“I… the last gift I ever received from MC was a portrait of her, pregnant. I stupidly broke the picture and tarnished it with my blood… she and my son were covered in it… I laid awake almost every night for a year holding that photo. Seeing her in front of me again- beautiful, healthy and with child again- my mind clashed between her and the photo, of her bloodied and not… and in that one split second all sanity left my body and all I wanted was for everything to make sense again…I lost track of reality and suddenly I was back in our bedroom, looking at that painting and all I wanted to do was destroy it all over again.”

Any gratitude that Saeyoung may have felt towards him vanished instantly and unable to control himself, he swung his body into a punch that connected with Jumin’s already fractured cheekbone, forcing the man to stumble backwards until he hit the wall. Startled, MC clutched her daughter to closer to her, petrified another fight was about to erupt. Looking to her husband she watched on as his shoulders bobbed up and down noticeably with his heavy breathing and his usually kind eyes turning feral.              

“Over a picture?! Over a fucking picture? Did we screw you up so badly that you couldn’t differentiate a person standing in front you from a god damned picture? What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“Many things,” Jumin uttered back despondently, accepting the punishment he thought he deserved for his crimes against MC.

“They nearly died!” Saeyoung snarled, his fists shaking ready to attack, “-were you… were you always going to hurt her?”

“I never wanted to. I never _thought_ I could…”

“Then why did you bring the gun for when you were only meeting her?” he screamed about to throw another punch.

“STOP!” MC cried, frightening her baby awake, her screams bouncing off the walls and piercing all the adults back to reality. “Please… stop. This is enough now- what has happened between us all… we’ve done enough to each other. Jumin- come here.” Steadying and righting himself against the wall he pushed off of it to walk slowly to side of her bed. Lifting up the arm that wasn’t holding her daughter, she traced her fingers over the abused flesh of his cheek, decreasing to the faintest pressure when he visibly winced at the contact. Jumin unconsciously leant into her warmth, treasuring the last vestiges of affection he could garner from this woman. Bending down he pressed a long, chaste kiss against her lips which she returned; much to the chagrin of the careworn Saeyoung- though he did nothing to stop it. Touching his lips with her fingers she smiled as he kissed against them three or four times before taking his hand in hers. 

“Jumin- we will never get back what was taken from us but know, that a part of me will always love and cherish you. No matter how you hate me- I’ll look back on the good times and know that once we were happy and once we would have made a fine family,” she said as she stroked his hand “… just not this time around. I- I’m so sorry that we lied to you, that we hurt you too and pushed you so far that you didn’t know where to turn back… I wanted to be a good mother but I failed our son-”

“That other driver failed our son MC, not you.”

“I’ll never see it that way,” she countered, “ _I_ lost our baby and I will never ask for your forgiveness for that because I will never grant it for myself- but my family now- J-Jumin they need me as much as I need them. I can’t be who I was for you an-anymore… I’m so sorry,” she sobbed releasing her hold on him, only to be covered by his familiar frame and his lips against her temple. 

“It’s… it’ll be… I’ll be OK MC. I’ll be OK,” he soothed as he stepped back and ran his fingers over the baby girl’s downy hair, the colour already a deep auburn- the perfect balance between her mother and father. “Saeyoung,” Jumin called out without looking up at him, too focused on the infant, “I will not hurt them again.”

Saeyoung opened his mouth to say something smart but with the sincere look of pain and remorse Jumin so openly displayed across his face, he knew that he was telling the truth. Closing his mouth and swallowing his words, he simply nodded and placed one palm up as a simple farewell to him. There was nothing left to say between them.

“Goodbye MC.”

“Goodbye Jumin.”

Walking out of the hospital room he refused to allow himself to turn back and take one last look at the life he should have led. Jumin tried to release his anger and resentment with every step he took as he walked away from it- they were no longer needed. He didn’t have a wife to fight for anymore, that part of his life finally drawn to a close. Instead he tried to focus on the life he could still lead. _One day,_ he promised himself, _one day we will meet again and we can call each other friend, just not today._

* * *

The couple watched out the door until Jumin’s footsteps could no longer be heard- until the smallest of whimpers was made by the smallest member of their family. Quickly turning their focus on the small lady, MC cooed and ahhed until the new born gurgled bubbles happily. Saeyoung’s chest filled up with what he assumed was pride, love and happiness mixed into one super emotion that hadn’t been named yet. Pushing down the guard rails of her bed, he pushed back the pillows behind MC and slid himself in between- taking care not to jostle her or the baby. Stretching out his legs so they were either side of MC, he could watch them both from over her shoulder.

“Saeyoung… what did you name her?” she asked still pulling faces to entertain their daughter. Overcome with emotion Saeyoung took her by the chin and kissed her softly on her lips, her eyes fluttering shut. Winding his arms so that they were nestled under her own to support their baby, he started pulling faces along with her much to the infant’s wonder. “Saeyoung… I swear if you named her Longcat or Honey Kitty Pepper or something ridiculous like that I-” Saeyoung’s snickering cut her tirade short as she puffed out her cheeks in annoyance.

“Bahahaha MC- I didn’t name her Longcat but now I really wish I had!” he laughed, full bellied, releasing the last of the tension that clung to his body. “Baby, I couldn’t name her without you, you’re her mother”

“And you’re her father” she supplied, pecking him on the cheek.

“I am… I’m her father,” he bantered almost unbelievingly. MC’s mouth quirked into a sardonic grin as an incredulous giggle simmered out of her, “Don’t tell me you only figured this out now Saeyoung…”

Colouring at her words he nipped playfully at her earlobe and smiled against her skin. He had come so close to losing them, it was only because of Jumin that either of them survived at all. If he hadn’t called in his medical team when he did, as he just lay on the ground crying, his wife and child would have been lost. He would have never seen a copy of his eyes gazing back up at him, or her tiny button nose that would one day share the exact slope as her mother’s. Though Jumin was to blame for landing them in the hospital- he was the one that saved them in the end, not him, as much as he loath to admit it. He guessed there was still something left to say to him someday, _thank you_.

Pulling MC back to rest against his chest as he lay back against the bed, ignoring the way his bruised ribs complained under her weight. Resting his palm against his slumbering daughter’s scalp, his thumb stroking her smooth skin in soothing circles, his other hand combing through the ends of MC’s hair. Just being there with both his girls in his arms- now _this_ was true peace, this was home.

* * *

 

Running towards the front door from their mailbox, Saeyoung sifted through the mail for anything interesting. There was one bundle of letters that arrived with familiar postage marks and stamps from Korea and in his excitement he dropped all the other mail as he ran in to open the package together with MC. Sitting on the couch with their daughter in a basinet beside her, MC was folding what seemed like a never-ending pile of laundry when her frenzied sometimes-partner/sometimes-second baby bolted into the room and began dancing on the spot in front of her.

“How can I help you Saeyoung… or better yet… how about _you_ help _me_ with pairing these socks together?” she requested, her eyes batting prettily at him whilst holding out a bunch of mismatched socks… all of them his. Biting on his lower lips as he swivelled his body side to side in a snake like dance, he threw the package at her forcing her to drop all the socks to catch it. Throwing him an unimpressed look MC looked over the letters to see they were all from the RFA, some personal letters or postcards but most were confirmed RSVP’s for Seong-Min’s baptism next month.

MC smiled at the memory of Saeyoung as he logged back into the RFA messenger and how all the members just flocked over to him; demanding answers as to where he’d been and why he was there now, so he told them all the truth. Everyone barring Jumin and V remained silent for over 5 minutes. That Jumin had cheated, that MC was alive, that he and MC now had a child together… it was all far too much for any of them to handle. After multiple serious death threats from Zen and consoling Yoosung for tricking them about MC’s passing and Jaehee’s elation that her best friend was still alive… they were almost back to the same old RFA they were three years prior. It was still stunted and awkward when Jumin interacted with the couple but at least he was civil, it was the first step at least.

A large white envelope was folded in half at the back and the stamp indicated that it came from one of C&R’s law teams. MC looked back up at Saeyoung in a panic- she thought they had all moved on, that Jumin was no longer after vengeance. Clenching and releasing her hands to stop them from trembling, MC broke the envelope seal open and pulled out the thick dossier of paperwork. Flicking through it as she skimmed over the words she let out a gasp when she reached the final page of the document, burying her face in her hands as she started to weep, dropping the papers to her lap. 

Fury flared within Saeyoung at the sight of her crying due to that man again; stealing the wad of paper from her lap and speed reading the document he could feel his unfounded anger dissipate into nothingness. It was a divorce settlement. Jumin had managed to wrangle their divorce under cover without outing them to the general public as liars or con-artists in order to protect them- this must have cost Jumin’s pride more than his pocket, though the cash price would have been more than sizeable. Flicking to the back he found a small purple post it note with Jumin’s neat flowing script,

_“A small christening gift to Seong-Min, so that her parents can truly call themselves husband and wife. Uncle Jumin.”_

Grinning from ear to ear, as he lowered the contract to just under his chin to look at the woman still crying on the couch,

_**“Hey MC- let’s get married at the space station.”** _

* * *

 


End file.
